MIM had the opportunity to interview Jim Mitchell, who leads a Christian men’s fellowship in Benicia , California .  The Cholesterol Café, known for its food, fun, and fellowship, as well as small business cards which promote a lesson of the week, meets at 6:00 AM every Friday morning at Country Waffles.  Approximately eight to twelve men attend each week.  At a recent event at his church designed to get more members involved in small groups, Jim had yet another stack of business cards available for potential new members.  The cards read:

 Top Ten Reasons To Attend the Men's Breakfast

 10.  Duh! Food!

9.   Collecting little cards

8.  Talking sports

7.  Les' Asian jokes (Les, one of the group members, is a Hawaiian who is always being mistaken for being Asian.)

6.  COFFEE!

5.  Fun emails

4.  No girlz allowed

3.  Movie reviews

2.  Real men get up early!

1.  The Dumpster Train!!!

 
MIM:  One would think that such an early time would prohibit guys from wanting to attend, and yet it continues to be a big draw.  Any ideas why?

JIM:  It does prohibit some men from coming. In fact, there are a number of men who cannot come because it is not early enough to meet and then get to work.  There are those (night owls) who cannot fathom coming to something that early.  For those who do come, camaraderie is probably the biggest draw. Most men don't have close personal relationships, but they can
feel good about being with a group of guys in a non-threatening way.

MIM:  What happens at a typical gathering (if there is such a thing?)

JIM:  It has the feeling of being unstructured when in fact we are pretty structured. From 6:00 to 6:15 guys straggle in and praise God for coffee. That first 15 minutes consists of handshakes, and shaking the cobwebs from our brains. After everyone orders, we have a short discussion with a couple questions to banter around and an appropriate scripture.  Once the food comes, the "official" lesson time is over. Sometimes, the discussion continues on the topic presented, and other times, it's right back to sports or something else that has captured our interest.

MIM: You have a rather unique way of teaching a lesson or Christian principles.  Can you tell us a little bit about the business cards you pass out to
group members?

JIM:  The old K.I.S.S. method is never more appropriate than early in the morning. Typically, I have one simple concept to discuss (i.e. anger, patience, focus, integrity, etc)  By putting the subject into a context that is familiar, we can approach the subject from the backdoor. The business cards have a scripture, a couple questions or a quote, and usually, an appropriate picture or graphic. I found out a long time ago that men have room for business cards, credit cards and money in their wallets...and not much else. A business card handout is one that will actually leave with the guy. Visuals always help to drive home a point, so the card also helps in that way too.  Our most recent series was called "Diamond days" Using a baseball theme, we discussed a number of topics that begin with an illustration from the game of baseball.
(i.e. stealing a base, being managed, walk as good as a hit, etc.)

Next up is a short series with football that will also include a little competition with the old triangle shaped paper footballs that we used in school days.
Competition (of any kind) can really get a group's adrenaline going.

MIM:  You've got a great sense of humor. I picked up one of your promotional cards from the small group ministry promotion and it lists the top ten  reasons why guys should attend.  You've got #1 listed as the dumpster train.  Would you care to elaborate on  that?

JIM:  Humor is the number one attractor for nearly every human being. If you ask men & women what they are looking for in a mate, they will almost always say that "sense of humor" (or they make me laugh) as being key. Laughter is attractive. The dumpster train is simply a pick-up truck pulling at least four dumpsters (like a train) through the parking lot. It typically comes around 7:00 AM , and has come to signify that the meeting is officially over. It is a little unusual to see and I must admit that I have never seen it anywhere else. I put it as #1 as an "inside joke" but also as the one thing that a guy who has never
attended will have to ask about.

MIM:  You send out humorous email reminders to attendees.  Can you give us an example of a reminder you might have sent?  Perhaps, this is one of the "hooks" that keeps guys coming back.

JIM:  Since being somewhere at 6:00 AM is not the "norm" for many of these guys, a weekly reminder is pretty much necessary. If you can make it humorous, guys will look forward to it. As much as possible, I try to make
it relevant to the study or to current events. Recent emails included a picture of the world record holder for shooting milk from his eyeball. I made comments to keep guys wondering if we might try something similar.  Another one included a picture of a man who weighed 0ver 1,000 lbs. That one included a comment about the biscuits and gravy. (Nobody ordered the biscuits and gravy that week).  Sometimes it really hits a chord and there are a flurry of "reply all" comments that get tossed around for the next 36 hours. That, of course, builds enthusiasm for getting together again on Friday. The emails are almost always sent out on Wednesdays.


MIM:  What is the biggest challenge or issue you face as a leader of men's ministry.

JIM:  I'm the one guy that HAS to get up every Friday.  Men are fearful of letting their guard down too much and appearing too vulnerable. Our studies never push for that, but allow for that. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it is powerful. Men want to spend time with other men, but are made to feel guilty if they are not with their wife or kids during their free time. It is subtle, but it is there.  Friday morning at 6:00am is guilt free time.

MIM:  What suggestions do you have for someone who wants to lead or does lead men's ministry?

JIM:  Make sure it is something you want to be at. Like dogs smell fear, men smell BS.  If you are doing it because someone should, they will know. It is fun to go fishing with someone who truly loves to teach others how to fish. They want to be there with you and that makes you want to be there.


MIM:  Do you have anything else you would like to  share about your group?

JIM: We have at least four guys who are coming on their day off....the day they could sleep in. That says "success" to me more than anything else.. 

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