MIM Ezine, February 10, 2010

-- Purpose-Filled Ministry: Good Small Group Community Doesn't Happen by Accident, by Teena Stewart.

-- Book Review, "A Multi-Site Church Road Trip," by Geoff Surratt, Greg Ligon, & Warren Bird, reviewed by Teena Stewart.

Purpose-filled Ministry: Good Small Group Community Doesn’t Happen by Accident

“This is what I’ve been missing,” said Dwayne as he settled into a chair at our small Sunday morning gathering at the coffee shop. “ I’ve missed the community.” Dwayne is a teacher at a Christian school. Over the past year he had tried going to different church services but admitted that something still felt out of alignment. “Even at school I never really connect to anyone.” Dwayne also admitted that at school and at church, there was a certain pressure to keep up appearances. Christians seem to be expected to act as if they have it all together.

One of the primary reasons we decided to launch Java Journey our coffee shop ministry (http://www.javajourney.org) was the community. In fact, Java Journey’s tag line is, “Where coffee, caring, and community connect.” The word “community” for us carries a two-fold meaning. First, it provides a comfortable and safe environment where people can connect with each other and draw closer to God in an uninhibited way. The word also represents our goal to involve the community, both Christian and non-Christian, in efforts to give back through community service and charitable projects.

Dwayne, like many, had experienced a disconnect that is so common in churches. The larger the church, the more difficult it is to establish an environment where people can get to know each other on a deeper level. Most conversation occurs either as members are sliding into the pew in the sanctuary, or standing around in the foyer, but they rarely go deeper than surface level. Small gatherings, on the other hand, are less intimidating. As people get to know each other, they begin to open up about deeper matters, but this will only happen if they feel safe to do so.

I recall the time I attended a class at my former church on Dr. Henry Cloud’s “Changes that Heal.” The purpose of the class was to help bring about emotional and spiritual healing for deep hurts in a person’s life. The leader deliberately imposed a deadline—no new attendees were allowed in once the first session was over. She also limited it to women only. As we began, she had us read over an agreement that established guidelines for how we would share and more importantly, reminded us that what was shared in the group stayed in the group.

This wasn’t a typical small group but was closer to a recovery group. We weren’t just studying a scripture lesson, but it taught me several things. First, it’s important in the small group community to establish an environment where people feel safe. Because we were sharing intimate details of our past, the leader felt it was best to limit membership to people of the same sex and I think she was right in doing so.

In any small group, whether the sexes are mixed or segregated, people want to know that if they share hurts, needs, and prayer requests, group members will not take it beyond those walls unless they are given permission to. Members also want to know they can be genuine. The level of authenticity is often established by the group leader. If a leader is openly honest, he/she will let the group members in on some of his/her struggles. People need to know that it’s okay to mess up and that they can be themselves.

Have you ever been in a group setting or exposed to leadership where the leader put up a “holier than thou” façade? Some leaders are afraid that if they admit they have flaws and struggles they are not good Christians. When in reality, it is this honesty about shortcomings to which people are drawn. That isn’t to say that a leader should live an out of control lifestyle all week and then apologize to the people he leads only to purposely go on sinning the next week. But authenticity can create an environment where an open and honest community flourishes. The safer people feel in a small group setting, the more likely they are to share deep needs and thereby be open to hearing the wisdom of God’s word as they seek to apply it to their lives.

Other factors can play a part in establishing community. For instance, members need to know they have a voice in the group. When one or two people dominate conversation, people may not feel that they are fully a part of the group. It is good to pay attention to the physical layout of your meeting place as well. Assess whether it is warm and inviting, or cold and sterile. This can have an impact on the comfort and ease of your members. Group size is also important. The ideal size is 12 members. Dynamics change when groups get larger than that. Introverts become more introverted. And even those people who are more talkative tend to become inhibited. The point is that people are less at ease in larger groups.

These are just some suggested factors to consider when trying to build community. When people sense they belong, they not only become more open to learning and sharing, they become more involved and tend to give back. The intended outcome is not just to have people sit around in a comfortable environment but to grow into mature Christ followers. Much of this growth happens naturally in community.

Teena Stewart is married to an ordained minister and is a published author, ministry consultant and coach. Her most recent book is Successful Small Groups from Concept to Practice. For more info see http://www.serendipitini.com or http://www.ministryinmotion.net/teena_stewart.html. You can learn more about her coffee shop ministry at http://www.javajourney.org. You are welcome to email her with questions or comments at smartwords@embarqmail.

I’ve been frustrated with the health advice from the so-called experts lately since most of it is either far too difficult to follow or just flat-out wrong. It makes me think that even I could come up with a health plan that is just as good as theirs, if not better.

The following are my revolutionary new health tips to get you started off on the right foot at the beginning of the year:

1] Eat more grease. I believe that scientists of the future will discover that, since grease is a lubricant, it actually helps your blood slide through your veins and arteries with greater ease. Therefore, the greasier it is, the better it is for you. I predict that one day paramedics will no longer apply CPR to heart attack victims, but will administer french fries and donuts instead.

2] Exercise less. The phrase “use it or lose it” is just way wrong. Have you ever noticed that everything on the planet wears out with more use? Why should the human body be any different?

No, if you want to be really healthy, try to move as little as possible. Find a couch, get on it, don’t move, and start improving your health today. The compliment of the future will sound something like, “Dude, you’re a real couch potato!” or “Man, I’ve never seen anyone look so out of shape!”

This is one more reason we need to step up the robotics program in Japan. We’re going to need plenty of household attendants to prepare our meals and carry us to bed after a hard day of lounging around watching M*A*S*H reruns.

3] Gain weight. I heard a story not long ago about an overweight grocery clerk who was shot in a hold up. Fortunately, the bullet was diverted by the clerk’s multitudinous flab and he not only survived the attack, but wound up clobbering the would-be thief. A story like that has got to be true.

The point is, I think the guy might have something there. If all these organs we carry around are so important, doesn’t it just make sense to take them out of harm’s way by wearing as much padding around them as possible? The thicker the layer of flab you’re sporting, then the more of a bullet-deflecting, criminal-trouncing grocery clerk you’ll be.

4] Get more stress in your life. Just as a little wind resistance makes a tree’s roots grow stronger, stress will fortify and prolong your life. The reason we Americans have so many health problems is that we’re living pampered, cushy, stress-free lives.

Take a look at the World War II generation. Those guys went straight from high school to battling Nazis. Now that’s stress. Afterward, most of them went on to live to be about a gajillion years old. The secret of their longevity? One word, my friends: Stress, and plenty of it.

The first thing you need to do in order to get more stress is have some kids. Having done that, then go fight some Nazis. If your kids are Nazis, then you can rest knowing you’re stressing at maximum level, and then concentrate on staying as still as possible, eating greasy foods, and placing your order for a Japanese robot.

I know it’s hard to filter through all the advice thrown at you these days. It seems everybody has an opinion and doesn’t mind sharing it. The problem is knowing which advice to follow and which to mentally delete.

The only guaranteed method of ascertaining truth I’ve found is to seek the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I’ve learned that things will work out for the best if I prefer God’s opinion over my own or anyone else’s. And that applies to every area of my life, including my health.

As I review this chapter, though, I see now that my health plan relies far too heavily on robot servants, and this, of course, is just foolishness. Sure, we’ll need some robots, but we should not overlook developing a race of genetically-enhanced super monkeys as well.

(by Geoff Surratt, Greg Ligon, Warren Bird, 2009, Zondervan, 243 pages, ISBN #9780310293941)

Geoff Surrat, Greg Ligon and Warren Bird pick up where they left off after writing A Multi-Site Church Revolution. The original work explored the rising trend of churches using multiple site locations. Their sequel, A Multi-Site Church Road Trip takes us on a virtual tour of a variety of campuses in different parts of the country.

The churches that were visited include : Seacoast Church in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina; New Hope Christian Fellowship in Honolulu, Hawaii; Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock , Arkansas; Community Bible Church in San Antonio, Texas; Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Flamingo Road Church in Cooper City, Florida; North Coast Church in Vista, California; Community Christian Church in Naperville, Illinois; Christ the King Church in Mount Vernon, Washington; Life Church in Edmond, Oklahoma; Shelter Rock Church in Manhasset, New York; Living Hope Community Church in Vancouver, Washington; Lake Point Church in Rockwell, Texas; Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The churches are as varied as snowflakes, each with a unique culture and reach. And the book examines the nuts and bolts of their congregations, the varied ministries the churches are involved with and how they operate.

Churches that have outgrown their present facility and are faced with either creating a satellite location or planting a church may be surprised to know they may be able to do both rather than choosing one option over another. Multi-sites are no longer merely for megachurches as the size of congregations range from small groups to thousands of attendees.

Sites include everything from bars and theaters to schools and churches. Some churches have chosen to make multiple simultaneous launches (which boggles the brain) while others move at a slower pace. In some cases, churches have launched sites overseas and a few have managed to successfully merge with other churches. The authors devote an entire chapter to Internet churches and another chapter on how many of these churches handle technology.

For those wondering how to go about launching additional campuses, this book is very enlightening. It covers the logistics of managing these sites—everything from how sermons and worship are coordinated with the main campus to how staff hiring and management is handled.

There is clearly no one-size-fits-all approach to establishing multi-sites and this book covers the many options available. It would be very hard to find a more thorough book anywhere on the subject.

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DBMIM February 10, 2010