MIM Ezine, January 04, 2010

-- In the Huddle: Discipleship through intentional community: "So How's That Working For You?", by Tim Burns.

-- Book Review, "Multi-Site Churches: Guidance for the Movement’s Next Generation," by Scott McConnell, reviewed by Tom Hanover.

The Education Team had started a new after-school program that was going wonderfully. There were volunteers to help with the snacks and the games. The pastor led the Bible stories. High school students helped with the tutoring. The program was attracting children that had no previous contact with any church, let alone this one.

The Education Team was excited. They had observed a few new parents wandering into worship because of the relationships developed in the after-school program. Though they did not regularly attend, they were starting to feel at home when they did attend. So the Team felt they could expand their ministry if they could make a few building changes. They thought that knocking out a few walls and adding a few computers would create more options for the youth and children.

The Team engaged several other key leaders in conversation about their ideas, too. The Trustees and Finance folks thought it was a great idea. Some special gifts had even been pledged to help underwrite the changes. Everyone thought they had paved the way for every contingency.

So nearly everyone was astonished at the Board meeting when Aunt Sophie stood up to complain about all of the noise and mess in the building since the after-school program began. Not only was she against spending any money, she wanted to shut down the program. And to put icing on the cake, she proposed they cut the pastor’s salary, too! She felt he was ruining the church.

When she finally sat down after repeating her complaints several times, the Board sat in stunned silence for several minutes. No one knew what to say. Pastor Alex knew that the first comments would be critical in shaping the direction of the rest of the meeting, but Alex was speechless. No one expected this kind of response from anyone.

This is not an isolated case; this type of scenario happens in both the private and public sector quite often. But it may be more common in churches because church people are supposed to be kind and gracious to each other, fully accepting whatever changes taking place as a sign of progress. In many other settings, there are tangible consequences for this kind of oppositional behavior. But in the church we often tolerate destructive behavior because Jesus commands us to love one another.

At the same time, tolerating unsubstantiated opposition without demanding a reasonable explanation can encourage others to act in the same way or, worse, blindly follow suit with the opposition. It is important to note that tolerance can be misinterpreted as approval. If this continues unchecked, productive volunteers may soon find other places to give their discretionary time. The church Board will be left with only destructive, dysfunctional people.

Rarely do people analyze their motivation or even think through their decisions. They develop impulsive patterns rehearsed throughout their lives that may have even originated in childhood. Often, their choices reflect past painful attempts they may have experienced to find affirmation and value in the eyes of others. Unfortunately, what happens is that their methods undermine the very relationships they want to cultivate.

However, these are not relational patterns that can be addressed in the Board meeting. They require hours of therapy with trained counselors which is best conducted in confidence and not with an audience. This scenario required Pastor Alex to provide a different kind of leadership.

Dysfunction often breeds in a conspiracy of silence. If no one speaks, the spoken ideas prevail. This often happens in personal conversations. A complainer will corner a key leader and air their frustrations. The leader will nod quietly intending to communicate that they are actively listening, but the complainer will interpret those nonverbal signals as agreement.

At the Board meeting, Aunt Sophie thinks that several of the key leaders agree with her, because they have not spoken any words of disagreement. In reality, many of them may be reluctant to speak against her because they don’t have the time to listen to her angry tirades. They nod their heads passively, hoping the conversation will soon end. If anything, they disregard Aunt Sophie’s opinion anyway because she has behaved this way too many times to win respect or influence.

Pastor Alex needs to break the conspiracy of silence. Since Aunt Sophie has also attacked Pastor Alex in her complaints, he needs to be careful not to sound defensive. By doing so or even responding to the personal charges would lead the conversation down the path of a personal conflict that distracts the Board from the opportunity to affirm a new ministry.

Pastor Alex sat up in his chair and cleared his throat. This bought him a few precious seconds by signaling that as spiritual leader of this congregation he was prepared to respond. In Pastor Alex’s mind, nothing could be further from the truth, but he needed to redirect their attention away from Aunt Sophie’s complaints and towards this new ministry.

What would you do? Make sure to read Tom Hanover’s next column to see what Pastor Alex decides to do.

Tom Hanover is Advertising and Promo Director of MIM ezine. He has served in a variety of pastoral leadership roles for more than 35 years, including seven as a District Superintendent supervising the ministries of more than 100 pastors and churches in southern Ohio. He is currently Senior Pastor of Sulphur Grove UMC, a multisite ministry in Dayton. He has a BA (cum laude) from Taylor University, and the MDIV and DMIN degrees from United Theological Seminary in Dayton. You can contact Tom at hanover@dbmim.net.

Love him or hate him, the iconic psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw is known for his southern drawl, blunt approach, and signature phrases. “So how's that working for you?” is my favorite Dr. Phil-ism. When a guest on his show is deeply entrenched, defending self-defeating behavior, Dr. Phil takes a step back and with the sweetness of a bachelor complimenting his fiancé on a new dress, inquires . . . “So, how's that working for you?”

Looking back over the past year, this column has presented a cultural paradigm that runs counter to our American identity. Americans are rugged individuals, independent, taught to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, and take care of our own business. Therefore making room for intentional community is a radical cultural shift. While intentional community includes personal strength, it also demands personal vulnerability, transparency that includes honesty, and leading that makes room for serving. A lifestyle of intentional community deliberately makes room for others, fulfilling Galatians 6:2 (KJV): “Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Practicing intentional community doesn't replace personal responsibility. Nor is the goal to create co-dependant, emotionally enmeshed groups who hope for the best, but are afraid to stand up as individuals. In Gal. 6:5 (KJV), just three verses later, Paul writes “For every man shall bear his own burden.” The apostle continues, reminding us that each of us will reap what we sow. After encouraging the family of God to bear one another's burdens because in the end we will all bear our own burden (a dichotomy which confused me to no end until I considered the passage in context), Paul finishes with this thought:

“As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” (Gal. 6:10 KJV)

Like the relationship between faith and works, if we are to have a transformational Christian influence on the world, individual stewardship and our call to build inter-dependant community are inexorably connected. The two find their highest expression when Christ followers create the culture of intentional community.

As the year draws to a close, I would like to ask this question. “How has this idea worked itself out in your life?” Have you applied the ideas presented in this column over the past 12 months? What has been the result? Have you made room for intentional community, and what fruit has grown in your life as a result?

Daniel and his friends Shadrach, Meschach and Abednigo found strength, encouragement and the accountability necessary to maintain personal integrity in their small intentional community. Their lifestyles were an example to the pagan Babylonians around them. As a result, they were promoted, given responsibility, and elevated to a place of influence in their world.

The work of fourth generation Pastor Rick Warren made the case that we need four kinds of people in our lives. He teaches those who want to have a lasting Christian influence to find Models, Mentors, Partners and Peers. The saying goes that a lost sheep is an easy target for the wolves. So when we intentionally make room for to balance relationships, we are no longer alone or isolated, and far less vulnerable.

As Christ's followers we are called to have a transformational influence on our community. Culture should not remain the same when Christ's body the Church is a part of the mix. Jesus called us:

These are Jesus' descriptions of what constitutes the portrait our lives should paint. If we are not following his example, and working to fulfill the great commission in our circle of influence, then what are we doing? Are we being transformational agents, or conforming to the world?

Throughout the New Testament, we are called to “be transformed” (Rom. 12:1-2 KJV), “a holy nation (set apart), a peculiar people” (1 Peter 2.9-10 KJV), “as the One who called you is holy, you yourselves also be holy” (1 Peter 1.15 ABV), “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world” (1 John 2.15 KJV). I grew up in a church strong in tradition, and sometimes the desire to be “a people set apart for God's purposes” was distilled, like wine into vinegar.

Under this externalized interpretation, the scriptures became a list of things we have to do and not do. Based on our own cultural biases, we assume that trying hard and separating ourselves from all the evil influences in the world is the only way we can become God's chosen people. The problem is we become God's “frozen chosen,” isolated and often irrelevant to the world. We remain alone, falling short of the lifestyle and the transformational influence Christ calls and intends for us to be.

As the year closes, the message presented in this column has been simple. In order to be fully engaged as God's people, Christ's body, the church, must have a transformational impact on the world. We must make room for, and build, intentional community.

Therefore in closing 2009, I am asking for your feedback. Over this past 12 months, how have you applied this idea of transformation to your life? What changes have you made in your daily, weekly, monthly schedule? More importantly, what have you seen as a result?

Over the holidays, I would love to hear from you. You can email your comments to tim.burns@inkwellcommunication.com, and as 2010 begins, I may contact you for permission to include your testimony as part of this column. We are not designed to walk this Christian journey alone.

Timothy Burns lives in West Michigan, and has written professionally for 8 years. Timothy's work explores external cultural and internal emotional influences that affect a life's direction. His ability to identify the human element or underlying organizational culture often sets his work apart. His writing spans topics of Christian living, apologetics, and the hidden benefits that often surface through personal difficulty. You can check him out at Building Disciples to Influence the World, www.timothyburns.com. In the Blogosphere: www.brushfiresoffreedom.net

by Scott McConnell (B&H Publishing Group, 2009, 243 pages with notes, ISBN: 978-0-8054-4877-1)

One of the upward trends among growing healthy churches is to replicate their ministries in another site. Many churches will launch a second site to address space concerns or to reach a new community with their ministries and services. There are a number of churches who have answered the call to multiplication and launched many satellites.

Each of these multi-site church projects and models are unique and special. Ann McConnell has compiled a significant amount of research into these various models and styles. He has also tapped other leading experts such as Warren Bird, Scott Chapman, Jimmie Davidson, Dave Ferguson, Jon Ferguson, James MacDonald, Dino Rizzo, Rick Rusaw, and Geoff Surratt.

McConnell’s book examines the diversity of approaches to launching multiple sites as well as revealing many of the mistakes various churches made. His message is clear in that there is no one way or one-size-fits-all approach. But there are strategic mistakes that can impact every approach.

McConnell offers insights about the mission of going multi-site, the choices of leadership, key questions that must be answered ahead of time, as well as the where and when of launching. Tapping the experiences of the above named leaders, McConnell shares several examples of what worked well and what did not.

As a leader of a multi-site church, I found McConnell’s work right on target. While multi-site churches may well be an exciting way to reach new people for Christ with healthy and vibrant ministry leadership, it is hard work that requires serious preparation. This book is a must read for any leadership seeking to answer God’s call to multi-site ministries.

Looking for something, but not sure where to find it? DreamBuilders Ministry in Motion has produced a 50-page Resource Guide that just might have what you need. And it's FREE! You need adobe acrobat reader (also free) to read the document. Check it out at: http://www.ministryinmotion.net/christian_ministry_resource_guid.html

Site Build It -- There are many different hosting plans for those wanting Christian websites but few work with you to drive traffic to your site. SBI differs from these because it is an all-in-one do-it-yourself website program that doesn’t require html knowledge. Includes domain registration, hosting, keyword research tools, search engine optimization, ezine mailing, and non-interactive blog option. The system guarantees success in getting good ranking with search engines thereby assuring you of more traffic. This website system is used by DreamBuilders Ministry in Motion. Site Build It Quick Tour

Be sure to visit Ministry in Motion's Bookshop. Every resource is developed from hands-on church experience. Help members discover their spiritual gifts, how to connect them in ministry and more. Visit MIM's Bookshop.

Just $10 per classified listing. For more information on advertising visit our advertising page.

Ministry in Motion is looking for columnists and writers in the following areas: women's ministry, men's ministry, single's ministry, youth ministry, worship ministry, small group/bible study ministry, and general ministry. We are also open to general church ministry related freelance articles. If you have an idea for a column or would like to share ministry insight or even short ministry tips, we'd love to hear from you. Present payment is promotion only -- no pay but great exposure for you, your ministry, book, or website. Please read our writer's guidelines here.

One of the needs we have perceived at Ministry in Motion is a service to help connect qualified ministers and church workers to ministry related and church staff positions. If you are presently in job search mode, or if you have a ministry position you are looking to fill, be sure to check out this site by clicking here.

DBMIM January 04, 2010