MIM Ezine, July 17th

Dear MIM Subscribers,

This month we have a new columnist joining us. Dawn Choate will be writing a women’s ministry column called Miriam’sSong. Her first article is in thisissue. She’ll share some of her ministry insights learned from her ownexperience as a women’s ministry leader and conference speaker. I had several inquiries about the women’s columnist position and Iresponded to those that I could respond to. If you did not hear back from me itmay be because your email was bouncing. I had a problem with one or two emailsregarding that.

I would like to take this time to thank columnist Shane Parker for hisTransforming YOUth column. Shane hasdecided to step down from that position due to time constraints but he plans tokeep doing book reviews for us. Andhe is certainly welcome to keep submitting as time permits.

We are always open to hearing from our readers regarding fresh ministry ideas,tips, and columns. If you feel you have a ministry you would like us tospotlight feel free to contact me. There is no pay currently for articles ortips but we will gladly give a write up on you and your ministry.

I hope you enjoy this issue of MIM and be sure to give Dawn a hearty welcome.

Teena Stewart

Editor

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CONTENT

Login Leadership– Learning from my Biggest Ministry Boo Boos

Miriam’s Song – Comforting Those Who Morn

Book Review - Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God

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Leadership Login: Learning from my Biggest Ministry Boo Boos

By Tom Hanover

Effective leadership makes excellent mistakes. What makes a mistake an excellent mistake is that the leader and otherslearn from the experience. A leaderwho never makes a mistake probably is not trying hard enough.

Let me share one of my mistakes with you. I worked with my staff to develop anevening of discipleship experiences for every age group in our church. Many churches have done this and done it well. We did not.

We kicked it off with supper for that people paid for with a donation. It included a salad bar for those who wanted to eat healthy as well as“red” food for the rest of us who weren’t so health conscious. Red food is food that youth like to eat: pizza, spaghetti, sloppy joes, hot dogs, etc. All the basic food groups!

Following the dinner weoffered a contemporary worship service, children’s ministries, adult choirs,youth and adult Bible studies. Wemarketed the event as TNT (Thursday Night Together). I had some very resourceful staff people create imaginative materials to promote the program.

Despite significant resources of staff leadership, in my opinion it flopped –except for the children’s program which went fairly well. The rest of the program, however, did not justify the resources investedin it.

I was mystified. One thing westruggled with was a severe lack of off street parking, but we provideddiscounted parking in a nearby parking garage. We marketed the evening it as a new alternative for adult studies, but itattracted few new adults. Why?

At the same time, a small group of women who were not connected to thetraditional power brokers in the church began raising concerns about the lack offeeding programs in the community. Onechurch and another social agency provided twice-weekly free meal programs. They chose to plan meals for another day during which no meals wereavailable.

They selected a noon lunch time – which meant many of our members could notvolunteer due to work responsibilities. Westarted in the dead of winter when weather made it difficult for people to walkin. (Remember our parking problems?)

The meal program wasknown simply as Monday Lunch. I haddeep reservations. I could foreseemany difficulties and I had little confidence we could resolve them.

But theministry flourished. It had littlestaff leadership. Volunteers, bothinside and outside the church, organized the whole outreach. My role was limited to washing dishes, and later I drove a borrowed vanto pick up folks outside of town.

We had a fantastic celebration when we provided our 5,000^th meal. Now we were doing Jesus’ work: feedingthe 5000. I could share so much moreabout creating community in an outreach ministry, but I pause to ponder: Why did one ministry grow by leaps and bounds and the other one crumble?

Sometime later I was testing some profile materials with several key groups inthe church. I was using a series ofquestions I had created based on Avery Dulles’ work, Models of the Church (1974,Doubleday). Dulles suggests thatthere are five dimensions of each church: institution,herald, mystical communion, sacrament, and servant. The institution dimension includes the structures and systems that makean organization work. It includesboards and budgets, committees, and communications.

The second dimension isthe herald. A herald is one whoproclaims the news. A church strongin this element will place strong emphasis on preaching the good news ofsalvation. They may use the radioand the internet today, but the most important thing is to announce the goodnews so the world may hear.

The third aspect is the church as mystical communion. Many people think of the church as the body of Christ. When the people of God come together, in God’s mysterious way theSpirit is among them.

The fourth facet issacrament where our symbols and actions re-present the deeper mystery of God’sgrace. The church is somethingconcrete and visible to represent God’s presence in the world – somethingabstract and invisible.

The fifth factor is servant. Thischurch sees her mission to meet unmet needs in the community. It is to offer help in Christ’s name to the least and the last.

Dulles insists that all of these dimensions are present in every church, but oneor two tend to become more dominant than the others. Those that become dominant, and the way in which various elementsinteract, explain the unique personality of each church.

Why didTNT flop while Monday Lunch flourished? Dulles’writing provided some insight. Consistentlyand reliably my leaders indicated their strong convictions about the church asservant. The Monday Lunch ministrytapped the deep faith commitments of the congregation to offer help to peoplewho needed it most. At the same timeTNT appealed to a ministry dimension that was not strong in this church. It appealed to faith formation work of mystical communion. TNT was designed to build up the body of Christ.

Does that mean thatfaith formation is not important to a church that is committed to servantministries? No, but it does meanthat faith formation needs to be framed in the context of serving the world inChrist’s name. Is proclamationirrelevant in a church that is committed to Christian service? No, but proclamation needs to connect to the call to servanthood to beinterpreted as meaningful in the congregation’s experiences.

Dullescomposed his work in 1974, but there have been many typologies of the churchboth before and since Dulles. Everygeneration creates new and useful insights into the mystery of God revealed inGod’s called people. Many of themcan be adapted in the same way I used Dulles’ work.

If I could do it over again, I would have used the survey profile earlier. I could have provided a wiser stewardship of staff time, financialresources, and leadership focus in further developing the on-going ministries ofthe church.

But God is good and Monday Lunch continues to feed hungry people every week,long after I left that community. Praisethe Lord!

Tom Hanover has served ina variety of pastoral leadership roles for over 30 years, the last four as aDistrict Superintendent supervising the ministries of more than 100 pastors andchurches in southwest Ohio. He has a BA (cum laude) from Taylor University, theMDiv and DMin degrees from United Theological Seminary in Dayton. ContactTom at thanover@pastors-study.com

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Miriam’s Song-“Comforting Those Who Mourn”

by Dawn G. Choate

It wasn’texactly how I had planned on spending the first weeks of my summer vacationfollowing my freshman year in college. Yet, I now found myself walking numblypast the casket of a close friend from my former high school. Along with a thousand other mourners, I walked as though in a dark cloud,completely uncertain how to face this sudden grief.

As Iexited the procession, I was approached by my mentor and teacher who had alwaysbeen a stalwart rock of a leader to all of his students. Suddenly, he broke down into bursts of sobs and moans, collapsing on myshoulder. Crying, my teacher beggedme, a young student, to watch after my deceased friend’s family andgirlfriend.

Grief is a strange creature. Itturns the strong into the weak, the certain into the uncertain, and the leaderinto the follower. It is the greatequalizer. Comforting those who aregrieving and helping them to find healing is one of the most significant rolesof any minister, and a critical call for every believer. Yet few Christians really know how to deal with those who are grieving ina way that is authoritative but sensitive, compassionate but practical.

A grieving heart is anopen heart, and the wise believer will “make the most of every opportunity”to bring the hearts of sorrow to the Christ who suffered for, and with, us.

When ministering to someone who is grieving, keep the following suggestions inmind for dos and don’ts for more effective grief ministry.

-Try to attendevery memorial or funeral service held. Make sure to at least make contact with the grieving family to let themknow you are there. Presence is oneof the most powerful forms of comfort.

-Don’t feel the need to say too much. People who do too much of the talking often end up saying somethingoffensive or insensitive. Listeninstead.

-Mirror the emotions of the grieving. Their feelings will actually ebb and flow. Do not speak depression if they are actually in the mood to reminisceabout the good memories. And,likewise, do not try to “cheer them up” if they need to express their sorrowfor the moment.

-Be very careful about making trite statements or sounding“preachy”. Many at funeralswill say things which only make the grieving family feel worse (i.e. “Death isjust a natural part of life, you know.” “Atleast so-and-so died quickly.” “Justremember, the JOY of the Lord is your strength.”)

-Don’t ever try to prove to the grieving that you “know how theyfeel”, unless you truly have faced the same tragedy. You don’t have to know the sorrow first-hand to be qualified to helpthem heal, so don’t feel you have to give them your own “sorrow resume”.

-Encourage those who are believers that it is okay to express sorrow. Too often, Christians feel like they have to be “superheros” of thefaith and that it is a sign of a lack of faith to grieve. Set the example by being willing to be open about your own sorrow.

-If the bereaved are not believers, look for small ways to express yourfaith. Do not clobber them overthe head with fire and brimstones. Instead,speak quiet words of peace and comfort that are genuine and come from your ownexperiences as Christ has comforted you.

-Rememberthe family on anniversaries (of the tragedy), birthdays and holidays. Don’t do anything to depress them, just send them a note or smallgift to let them know you are thinking of them. The first year anniversary of a loss is always the hardest.

-Continue to stay in contact with the family long after the tragedy haspassed. Most others will move onwith their lives after the first month or two. Be determined to stay with the family for the long-haul. Grief and healing take time, often years.

Always keep inmind when you are ministering to the grieving that they are not, and shouldnever be seen as, a project. Thosewho are in emotional pain can sense very quickly if you are genuine or justusing them as a trophy for your ministry case. As Romans 12:15 teaches us, if we mourn with those who mourn and rejoicewith those who rejoice we just may find ourselves standing in front of an opendoor to a heart that, while full of sorrow, is also full of promise andopportunity.

Dawn G. Choate is a freelance writer and public speaker. A former radio talk show host, Mrs. Choate has ministered to women’sgroups and conferences. Mrs. Choatewas also a teacher for a School of Ministry on subjects ranging from Women inthe Ministry to communications, culture and politics. She has worked as a communications consultant and political columnist. Mrs. Choate is also the co-founder of Fishers of Women Ministries,dedicated to equipping women to join in as laborers in the harvest. Dawn Choate and her husband own an educational computer/software businessand live in Kentucky with their 2 sons and a daughter recently adopted fromChina. They are all anxiouslyawaiting the arrival of their 2^nd adopted daughter from China. Contact Dawn at dawn_choate@yahoo.com

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Book Review – Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God by Pat Innes and AlisaTatlock

MoodyPublishers 2004, ISBN -0802414214, 285 pages

Reviewed by E. Dian Moore

Pat Ennis is professor and establishing chairperson of the Department of HomeEconomics at The Master's College in Santa Clarita, California. Dr. Ennis has almost 30years' experience integrating faith and learning into the home economicsdiscipline. (Moody). Lisa Tatlock isan associate professor of Home Economics at The Master's College in Santa Clarita, California. Lisa and her husband, Mark,live with their two young boys in California. (Moody)

Written for women, Designing a Lifestyleis appropriate for young adult women as well as mature women, and is applicableto one-on-one mentoring relationships, women’s groups or self-improvement. Thebook was designed as a companion to Becominga Woman Who Pleases God, but it can be read and understood on its ownmerits.

Designinga Lifestyle coversin detail the steps a woman might take in her life to adhere to the Biblicalideals set out in Titus 2, Proverbs 31, Proverbs 14:1 and 1 Peter 3:1-9.Together, the authors have combined years of teaching, both in church and in asecular setting, those things a woman encounters when living in and maintaininga household.

Because both authors areteachers, the book is unique in its presentation. Nothing a woman mightencounter in her life is left uncovered. Lists, charts and reference materialare included to further equip today’s Christian woman with all the toolsnecessary to not only be a woman, but also be pleasing to God as that woman.

This book contains a wealth of useful information:

• analyzing a woman’s present lifestyle and what areas are in need of improvement
• where to find God’s instructions to women in the Bible and how to adhere to those instructions
• the importance of submission in applicable areas
• encouragement to women to see their station in life as a high-calling
• motherhood as an area of excellence

The above list is not all-inclusive and does not begin to encompass the fullnessof this book and its importance for today’s women. In the motherhood chapter,for instance, such topics as flexibility, devotion, organization, maturity,graciousness, time-management, quiet-time, physical fitness and more arecovered. Again, no stone is left unturned.

Reading Level: Highly recommended,this book is written on a simple level, but inspires the reader to go further instudy and application. It would be exceptionally useful in a church groupfocused on marriage and family.

DianMoore is a Christian freelance writer, editor, reviewer and photographer and thehands behind Hands for Hope, http://www.handsforhope.com.

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