MIM Ezine - July 6, 2006

IN THIS ISSUE--

-- "Unlocking Your Leadership: Taking the Sting Out of the Killer B's"; Part I: Failure to Bond - by Teena Stewart

-- "Preparing a Resume" - by Karen Van Hentenryck

-- Book Review - "Through the Bible, Through the Year" - Reviewed by Tom Hanover

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Unlocking Your Leadership:  Taking the Sting Out of the Killer “B’s”

Part I: Failure to Bond

By Teena Stewart

    While reading Carson Pue’s book, Mentoring Leaders, one of his topics hit me like a brick.     Pue devoted an entire chapter to issues that hold us back from reaching our potential as leaders. I have always felt handicapped by insecurities and fears, which prevent me from being the leader I could be.  Before reading Pue’s book I thought I was one of the few experiencing such issues. But Pue, who has worked with developing many leaders through Arrow Ministries, says that leadership “bondage” is fairly common.

    Issues that hold us back include:  painful past experiences; low-self esteem, especially for women; scars from our parental upbringing; family origin (including generational sins); spiritual chains; vows we have made (often unspoken); and addiction to power and control.

    After reflecting on this particular chapter I became keenly aware that painful past experiences, low self-esteem and my parental upbringing were huge factors in my bondage as a leader.  They felt like cinder blocks tied to my leg.

    Providentially, not after I read Pue’s book, one of our church’s recovery group teachers promoted a class called Changes that Heal; How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future.  The class is based on a book by Dr. Henry Cloud.  I cautiously spoke with her about what the class would entail and decided to attend it. Despite my misgivings about what people would think and confidentiality issues, I found the class to be an excellent step in the right direction.  The format is simple. We read a few chapters in the book prior to attending, watch a video during class time, and then spend time discussing what we’ve learned about our own work areas. 

    The experience has been a humbling one.  I went with the attitude that I really didn’t need this class but I’d see what I could learn to pass it on.  In the process I found that leaders in particular have two crucial areas they often fail to deal with effectively. Those who don’t, operate with invisible cinderblocks tied to their legs while trying to minister.  I’ve labeled these issues the killer “B’s”--Bonding and Boundaries.

     Bonding relates to how well we connect with other people. Boundaries pertain to how well we know where our turf ends and someone else’s begins.  Due to space constraints I’ll address bonding in this article and boundaries in the next.

     Leadership is lonely.  Ministry is especially lonely, whether one serves vocationally or as a volunteer.  There are numerous reasons why we are lonely.  In my own personal life past hurts caused me to set up an invisible force field.  Many issues contributed. These included critical parents; church leaders who turned from supporters to antagonists; the loss of a father and sister who both died relatively young; having to move frequently due to ministry relocation; separation from extended family; and numerous other matters.  Unknown to me, I chose to protect myself from future hurt by creating an invisible force field.  If I didn’t let people get too close, then I wouldn’t have to feel the pain.  Many leaders opt to do this for many of the same reasons.

     Somewhere along the line they suffered scars from people they trusted.  They may feel that letting people in to their inner circle shows weakness.  They may carry the wounds of parents who loved them but who through imperfect parenting left deep hurts.  When leaders become too isolated they enter a type of bondage.  Like a circular argument which makes leaders feel extremely cut off and lonely while not knowing how to reach out.  Failure to reach out and let people in perpetuates the loneliness.

     Failure to bond has many different symptoms and those of us suffering from them may exhibit all or some of them.  These symptoms include: depression; feelings of being bad or guilt; additions (drugs, alcohol, food, sex or any behavior that is out of control such as working too long); distorted thinking, emptiness; sadness; fear of intimacy; fear of unreality; panic; rage; excessive care taking, and even fantasy.)

     How do we overcome these symptoms?  We must first search our past for why we shut ourselves off from others.  Only by digging into the past can we move forward and begin to heal.  Start with paper and pencil, listing significant past wounds or incidents that you feel impacted you negatively.  Bringing these to the surface will begin the healing process.    

     If possible, connect with resources that will help you address these hurts.  You can choose several methods. The cheapest is to read books such as the ones I already mentioned.  It is difficult to heal oneself so having someone to talk to is crucial.

     Though the situation in my group is sometimes awkward because I can only share so much (being a ministry leader and pastor’s wife), I have found the group to be very supportive and confidential.  Confidentiality is a requirement for being a part of the group.  Pastors and staff members may not feel comfortable in such a group setting.

     Talking with a counselor is also an option.  Many pastors may not wish their parishioners to know they are seeking counseling, but in truth most members are very supportive.  Willingness to admit vulnerability may endear you more because they find they have a common bond with you. Finally, if a free group or private counseling is not possible, consider taking one trustworthy person into your confidence.  Obviously you won’t be able to dump all you baggage on this person at once, but through mutual sharing you can build rapport, and more importantly, you will have an accountability partner who will help you grow and change.

     Set realistic goals for yourself, but don’t be discouraged if you fail. We are not perfect but are working on being like Christ.  We need to balance grace with truth so that we recognize that we are works-in-process. 

     For instance, you might set a goal to cultivate a friendship with one person.  Or you might make a promise to yourself to be less task driven and more relationship driven. This may mean taking an extra minute to chat with and connect with someone when you’d normally walk on to your next appointment.

     Bonding takes practice. One starts by recognizing the wounds and then works to develop relationship.  Improving our ability to bond makes us much healthier and consequently stronger leaders.  In my next column I will talk about the second Killer “B,” boundaries.

Teena Stewart is a published writer, a ministry specialist and consultant, and a product developer for Ministry in Motion. You can email her at smartwords@sbcglobal.net.  Recent published works include stories in the book Soul Matters for Moms, and Soul Matters for Women (Countryman Press). To learn more about Teena or to order her books, click here.

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Preparing a Resume

By Karen Van Hentenryck

Associate Executive Director for Health Level Seven, Inc.

    Reviewers typically spend 1-2 minutes maximum performing an initial assessment of resumes submitted for any open position. Two minutes is not long to make a good impression, so it is important to use all the tools at your disposal to make your resume appealing.

     The resume as seen on the printed page or computer screen should be formatted. The page should be balanced and appear organized.  A well-formed resume will contain a header that provides your name and contact information, and a body where a skill summary statement, work experience and academic/professional credentials are provided.  A resume that looks organized conveys to the reviewer that the applicant is organized. A resume that appears throw together and unformatted gives the reviewer the impression that the submitter is unorganized, not a highly desirable trait.

     Choose a font/typeface that is easy to read.  Fancy typefaces can seem attractive and may be appropriate for resumes developed for positions in the visual arts or highly creative careers, but for most other positions, Times New Roman or Ariel, fonts used in professional reports/correspondence, are good choices.  Choose a type size that is easily read by the 40+ age group, with size 11 or 12 being ideal.  Smaller font sizes are difficult to read and larger type sizes bring to mind elementary school primers.  You have two minutes to make a good impression; don’t waste them by making the reviewer struggle to read your resume. 

     I like resumes that provide a skills summary immediately following the header.  The skills summary gives the reviewer a snapshot of the applicant’s qualifications and entices the reviewer to read further.  A skills summary might read as follows:  “A seasoned, PMI certified project manager with 10+ years of experience.”  If the reviewer is looking for a project manager, this will make him/her look more closely at your resume, even if your most recent experience was not as a project manager.  Skills summary statements work nicely for individuals with a fair amount of professional experience; they are more difficult for individuals with little/no experience, but can still be used effectively by those individuals to introduce relevant volunteer/practical experience.

     Give considerable thought to how the body of the resume is organized. This includes ensuring that there is sufficient white space to make your resume attractive and easy to read.  Insufficient white space makes the resume look “heavy.”  Like picking up a dictionary, a heavy resume can give the impression that it requires more time/effort than the reviewer cares or has to give.  If you have lots of information, consider bulleting.  Bullets points increase readability and don’t need to be written in complete sentences. Successful professionals need to be able to sort the chaff from the grain; the important from the unimportant.  If you can’t do that on a resume, chances are you can’t do on the job either.  Review the description/qualifications of the position for which you are applying.  If you’re looking for a sales/marketing job, you probably don’t need to mention that you were the editor of your college newspaper and worked at the corner gas station, particularly if you have five or more years of experience.  Eliminating details that are irrelevant to the job for which you are applying makes the reviewer’s job much easier.

     Unless you are applying for an academic appointment or senior position in a large organization, extensive vitaes are unnecessary.  For most positions, a two-page resume is sufficient.  If your most relevant experience was a job or two ago, organize your resume by skills set (i.e., project management, programming) beginning with the skill most relevant to the position desired.  Present the other skills in descending order of relevence and provide a concise description of your responsibilities and/or accomplishments. If the job you’re applying for is heavy on accomplishments (i.e., proven track record in sales), your skills summary should focus on accomplishments/achievements (increased sales by 20%).  The fact that you’ve described your skills in terms of accomplishments conveys to the reviewer that you are a results-driven individual, a desirable candidate for the job.  For most other positions, a description of your responsibilities (i.e., supervised a team of analyst, oversaw the annual ANSI audit, etc) with a few relevant accomplishments is appropriate.   

     If the position you’re applying for is the next step in a natural career progression (i.e., moving from manager to director), then organizing your resume by job history makes sense.  Consider whether your previous positions should be described in terms of accomplishments, responsibilities or a mixture of both.  Many positions require the ability to work with others in a team.  A resume that touts your accomplishments can give the impression that you are a competitive, rather than a team player.  Ensure that your word choice conveys you in a manner consistent with the position being applied for.

     Have two or three mentors/associates proof read/critique your resume and cover letter.  While the spell check facility provided with most word processing programs is useful, it will not catch all errors. Very few people can compose and edit their own work, so enlisting the help of others is essential.  If the advertisement you’re responding to requests a salary history/requirements, provide it.  Failing to do so means that you didn’t follow instructions, and reviewers do not wish to enter immediately into salary negotiations.  Most companies have established salary ranges for positions; if you fall outside those ranges, you probably aren’t a good fit.  Most applicants have a salary range in mind.  Share that with the potential employer.  If I ask for a salary requirement and don’t get a straight answer, I automatically disqualify the applicant. Employers are leery of hiring individuals at a salary significantly less than the applicant’s last position. If you lost your jobs due to downsizing and are of an age or in a position making it impractical to expect a job at the salary level you just left, give a salary range that you are comfortable with. If this position is the next step in the natural progression of your career path but pays less or little more than your current position, it may not a good fit as you’ll feel you deserve more, which is not ideal for either employee or employer.

     Resist the temptation to show up unannounced on the employer’s doorstep with resume in hand. This used to be a popular tactic for getting noticed, showing you really wanted the job.  Most everyone these days is over-booked and impromptu guests are considered an intrusion rather than a “go-getter.”  If you have the e-mail address or phone number of the reviewer, it is fine to inquire as to the status of the position being filled, as the process of collecting/reviewing resumes and interviewing can take weeks and even months.  Multiple e-mails/calls or dropping by unannounced are inappropriate and will do you more harm than good.  A good Human Resources person/review will be honest with applicants.  If you haven’t made the list of interviewees, accept the news and move on.

     If you’ve done your part—no small matter—leave the rest in God’s hands.  As Christians, we are called to “lean not unto our own understanding.”  Sometimes, we think we’ve done everything right and still the doors of opportunity don’t seem to open.  I can only share that from my own experience that I am daily amazed at what God has done with my life.  While there were opportunities that certainly seem to have passed me by, I’m doing things and going places that I never dreamed of.  Looking back, I can see now how God created and presented each experience in my life to mold me for the next step in this wonderful adventure.

Karen Van Hentenryck is employed by Association Management Group where for the last 8 years she has served as Associate Executive Director for Health Level Seven, Inc., a not-for-profit ANSI accredited standards developing organization specializing in the development of standards to enable the exchange of clinical data.  She works with the Board of Directors to set the strategic direction of the organization and with the staff to achieve the goals and key initiatives set by the Board.  Prior to her current position she has also worked as a marketing/technical writer and taught English composition on the college level.

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