MIM Ezine - June 21, 2006

IN THIS ISSUE--

-- Login Leadership - "Reducing the Risks"  -  Article by Tom Hanover

-- Scott’s Ramblings #4 - “Catching up with some questions” - Article by R. Scott Miller

-- Book Review - "They Call Me Dad: The Practical Art of Effective Fathering" - Reviewed by Teena Stewart

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Login Leadership:  Reducing the Risks

Tom Hanover

hanover@DBMIM.net

    “Pastor, my 16 year old daughter is pregnant and she tells me it happened at your church during a youth event.”  That’s a great way to start off a Monday morning.

    Unfortunately, life happens.  When a church welcomes people into involvement, it cannot control every potential risk for harm or abuse.  The only way to eliminate risk is to eliminate the human element.  Obviously, that would eliminate ministry.

     Churches can reduce and manage the risk to which children and youth are exposed.  It takes prayerful preparation and planning to accomplish this.  Furthermore, it is not a project a select few can throw together in a couple of meetings and consider it accomplished.  Leadership needs to engage and educate the whole congregation in this effort in order to create a safe place for children and youth to experience God’s grace through ministries.

     There are a number of excellent resources available for reducing and managing risk and for responding to crises.  Your church insurance company may have materials you may want to consider.  (If your insurance company does not, you may want to make sure your company covers these risks.)  One resource a number of churches have used is Safe Sanctuaries:  Reducing the Risk of Child Abuse in the Church by Joy Thornburg Melton.  (You can order Safe Sanctuaries by clicking here.)  My comments in this column follow much of her guidance.

     Whatever resources you choose, purchase several copies and require your leaders to read them.  For these policies and procedures to effectively insure the safety of your participants, all of your leadership needs to develop awareness and understanding of the risks and responsibilities.

     There are three areas for preparation and planning.  First is to screen all paid and volunteer workers who have direct contact with children and youth.  Last month I included more information about conducting background checks.  (Check out www.ministryinmotion.net/MIM_May_17_2006.html)

     Secondly, plan potential procedures for investigation and follow-up.  Who should be involved?  Who should be notified?  When are legal and/or judicatory officials informed?  There is more about this in the last issue as well.

     Thirdly, plan and prepare several policies and procedures to implement continuously within the ministry of the congregation.  Here are several that should be included:

1. Provide orientation and training for every staff and volunteer person working with youth and adults.  This will raise awareness of potential risks and help leaders network with each other to work together.

2. Provide first aid and CPR training for volunteers periodically. 

3. Always have two adults present when working with children and youth.  This protects the adults as well as the youth and children.

4. Use no one under the age of 18.  Youth can assist adults in entertaining children, but youth are not entrusted with the judgment and wisdom required for supervision.

5. Put windows in the doors of every classroom.  A number of churches have cut windows into doors or replaced doors only to discover it opens up the room and increases light.  It also allows anyone to walk by and see that children are safe.

6. Provide advance notice to all parents about special events and activities.  Invite parents to stop in to observe at any time.

7. Provide ways in which counseling and confidential conversations can be conducted safely.  In camping adult counselors would invite the camper to talk by the camp fire, but also ask another adult to remain in visual sight so the camper and counselor are protected.  A leader could invite someone into an office for counseling, leaving the door open where a nearby secretary is working out of hearing range, but available should any need arise.  Youth pastor and youth meet for conversation at the local coffee shop instead of in the youth pastor’s office.

8. Write covenants for participants to sign before going on that youth trip.  Covenants establish expectations for group participation and signal healthy boundaries for leaders and youth.

9. Plan for adequate leadership and equipment at all times.  It is tragic to cancel an event because there is insufficient leadership, but not nearly as tragic as an incident of abuse.

     Check out your state’s requirements for reporting.  In some states workers with children and youth are required to report all allegations or suspicions of abuse to the appropriate social agencies.  In other states it is more permissive for church workers to report only when they have reasonable cause.  Clarify for your church leaders what your policy will be and run it by an attorney.

     Work to avoid the extremes in reporting.  Many churches make the mistake of trying to investigate and “fix” alleged abusive relationships by themselves.  They do not have the resources of training, experience, or time.  Sadly, the church becomes a source of abuse and harm.  Other churches quickly report all incidents and cease all contact with the involved parties.  People feel excommunicated and isolated.  Churches need to walk the fine line of continuing to care about people while collaborating with the social and legal resources of the local community.

     The safety of children and youth must be a primary concern of the church.  “Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Things that make people fall into sin are bound to happen, but how terrible for the one who makes them happen!  It would be better for him if a large millstone were tied around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.’”  (Luke 17:1-2 TEV) 

 Tom Hanover has served in a variety of pastoral leadership roles for over 30 years, the last four as a District Superintendent supervising the ministries of more than 100 pastors and churches in southwest Ohio. He has a BA (cum laude) from Taylor University, and  MDiv and DMin degrees from United Theological Seminary in Dayton.

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The Reconstruction of A Youth Worker

Scott’s Ramblings #4

“Catching up with some questions.”

By R. Scott Miller

    The great thing about having a column called ramblings is that I can easily go off into some other directions in my subject.  This month I was planning on going in the direction of preaching in the context of youth worship.  Luckily for the readers I received an e-mail from a fellow youth worker and friend in Colorado that had some intriguing questions.  I imagine some of these are similar to questions other readers may have pondered.

     Q:  Have you done any research on the pushback some churches are receiving about how families come to church and go different directions – children to the kids’ service, teens to the youth service, parents to their own service? 

     At this point, no… or at least not “officially,” but I have had many discussions both within my own church as well as with other youth workers.  I believe there are two levels to this question.  The first level is the quick concern parents have when they realize a church has multiple levels of generational worship.  This can actually come across as a concerning situation.  More and more our families seem split apart and stretched.  It is not surprising for a family with two or three children to have as many as 6-12 different activities a week all at different times. Families are consistently splitting up in separate directions.  Thus, the idea of multiple worship services seems like the church is doing the same thing as sports and extracurricular activities are doing - getting the family to go into different directions.

     Every youth worker I have spoken to has had similar initial reactions.  Now the secondary reactions and the results to a balanced program will tell the difference.  The history of the modern church has been graded Sunday school classes.  Adults, children, and youth have not been in the same Sunday school class together for obvious reasons.  The learning and maturity levels are much different.  Thus, the ability to understand and thrive in worship is the same rationale.  The paradigm that I have seen in my church as well as a few others that have youth worship is that often the parents will go to the early worship service with the adults and then attend our youth worship service with their children.  This way they have the opportunity to worship as a family. 

     Another aspect that helps this is if all of the worship services use the lectionary for their texts.  When this happens the worship experience will be age level developed but there is common ground for the families to talk about the scripture and message.  No matter what, there will be pushback initially.  If the church structure is developed well and there is good communication, much of the pushback should be balanced.

     I will admit that we had more negative feedback in the beginning of the youth service and even more feedback with the beginning of the adult contemporary service.  But, as these services mature and become the “culture” of your congregation, multiple worship opportunities seem to become less of a lightning rod for comments.

     Do you hold intergenerational events as a congregation? Or do something else?  I truly believe that this is one of the most important components with a church that is doing generational worship.  Whether a church is doing generational worship or multiple worship services it is important to do special “gathering” worship services so that as much of the congregation can worship together as possible. 

     At my church we do a variety of these.  We have four worship services.  At 9:25 we have a blended sanctuary service and an adult contemporary service.  At 11:00 we have a traditional sanctuary service and our youth service.  We do all church worship service at the end of the school year.  We literally cram everyone into our multi-purpose center for a 10:00 till 11:30 special service.  Then two to three times a year we do combined worship services at the 9:25 and at the 11:00.  We also have a number of special all-church events on Sunday evenings through out the year.  It is important to intentionally bring the congregation together at one time so that people at least can see who else is worshipping at the different times.

     I hope I was able to not only answer my friend Joe’s questions but some of yours as well.

     If you are new to this column you may want to go back and read the 3 preceding months of my ramblings:  (http://www.ministryinmotion.net/article_christians.html)  Basically, this series is how one traditional youth worker’s heart was changed when he began moving toward a worship-centered model of youth ministry.    If you want to begin discussion about some of the ideas I have brought up this issue, please e-mail me at rscottmiller1@aol.com.  In the future I may include some of your questions in my column.  Blessings!