MIM Ezine, June 8, 2010

-- Purpose-filled Ministry: Getting the Word Out on New Small Groups, by Teena Stewart.

-- Book Review, "When Your Aging Parent Needs Care: Practical Help for This Season of Life, by Candy Arrington & Kim Atchley, reviewed by Teena Stewart.

Several weeks ago my friend Julie, a single woman, told me about a friend at college, Susan, who suggested she start a Christian singles group. What was amazing was that Susan professed to be an atheist, but she had gotten to know Julie well enough that she was impressed by Julie’s faith and had slowly gained respect for her. Susan was serious when she suggested the idea and soon the Spirit began whispering to Julie’s heart. Maybe this was God talking, but Julie couldn’t shake the feeling that this was indeed something she was supposed to do.

After talking with me and praying over it, I agreed to work with Julie to help her launch a small group for singles ages 35 and above. She felt that neutral turf might be best so we’ve made a tentative plan to hold the group on Sunday evenings at Java Journey, our non-profit coffee shop ministry (http://www.javajourney.org).

The challenge for us at present is how to get the word out about this group without it becoming a dating pool. Julie envisions it as a Bible study with occasional fun events, and I promised her I would help her promote the group. Here are some of the ideas that we are working on:

· First, the most important way to draw interest is to tell people directly. Nothing beats personal contact for getting a response, so we are telling people we know who might know others who would be interested.

· Next, we created a flyer with a fun graphic of a group of people lying on their backs with their heads touching and creating a circle. Flyers with graphics always get more attention than ones without and we have added the basics on what the group is about and when it meets. We also have posted it on the coffee shop bulletin board and Julie plans to spread the word through other churches, colleges and hang outs that she is familiar with and where potential participants may congregate.

· Java Journey has a monthly ezine so we have made sure to put a blurb in it about the group and when it meets.

· Since social networking is a popular avenue for networking, we want to make sure not to overlook that opportunity as well. We’re spreading the word through Facebook and Twitter. (We actually had our first nibble through this network because someone told Julie about someone that she knew who was interested.)

A real concern that we have is the time frame for the launching of this group. Since we are approaching the warmer months when college classes are not as full as during the rest of the year and people are taking vacations, this isn’t the ideal time to start a new small group. Julie and I agreed that if we don’t get enough response, we will put the idea off until this Fall and try organizing it again.

Another suggestion I made was that sometimes the interest is greater when fun events are offered, so we may plan some sort of fun night out, like bowling, a party or something similar just to get people together. Then we can talk about the specifics of the group with those attending.

One of the principles of advertising is that it often takes between 7 and 10 repetitions before the audience actually pays attention to it. The same basic rule applies to advertising a group or event at a church. People often fail to read their bulletins because they are busy. So it’s important to allow plenty of time for promotional activities. Mentioning something for only one or two weeks may not get the attention you need. It’s better to over promote than under promote.

It also helps to include a specific deadline or a start date. When you leave something open-ended there is no pressure for potential participants to respond because they think they have plenty of time.

Julie and I are not sure how much interest this new group will garner, but we want to make sure we give whoever is interested an opportunity to participate, so we are working on clearly communicating a message that people can relay to others via word of mouth. Time will tell if the group will gain enough interest, but we feel that if we give it plenty of coverage, we have at least done our best to get this new group off the ground.

Teena Stewart is a published author and artist. She and her husband, Jeff, operate Java Journey a Christian coffee shop ministry (http://www.javajourney.org.) Her most recent book is Successful Small Groups from Concept to Practice. For more info about Teena visit http://www.serendipitini.com. You are welcome to email her with questions or comments at smartwords@embarqmail.

I was checking my mail the other day and I saw a flier attached to my mailbox that read:

My first thought was, man, don’t people know any better than to list their contact information on a publicly distributed flier? Don’t they know that there are people like me that don’t have anything better to do than make prank phone calls using this kind of information?

I think a prank call could go a couple of different ways on this one. My first option might sound something like:

Me: Yes ma’am, I’m calling about a flier I saw about a lost cat. Did you lose a cat, ma’am?

Me: Ma’am, this is Detective Regan with the Gwinnett County Animal Criminal Division. We have a cat in custody that matches the description on your flier. Could you tell me, has your cat ever been in any trouble with the law before?

Me: Ma’am, I think you should know your cat is being held in connection with a feline homicide that took place in your neighborhood two nights ago. Could you tell me the exact date of your cat’s disappearance?

Me (raising my voice): Ma’am, are you giving me attitude? Your cat could be going away for a long, long time. Now, I don’t know where you’re from, but we still take feline homicide pretty seriously here in Georgia so unless you want little Fluffy here taking a visit to Old Sparky, I suggest you stow the attitude and start cooperating with this investigation!

Another way to go might be to call and be just generally creepy; something which many people tell me I do quite naturally.

Me: Yes, I got your flier about the lost cat and I think I might be able to help.

Me: Well, that’s just it. I’m not sure. Listen, I see on your flier that you live not far from me. I’m going to be dropping by later. I have a trunk full of cats that I’d like you to take a look at.

Me: Yeah, I’ve been collecting them all day for you and now I’m ready to bring them by. I’d like to do kind of a cat line-up and have you pick out your cat.

Me: Oh, hey, don’t worry about me. I keep my trunk lined with plastic at all times so there shouldn’t be any thing to worry about. I’ll see you in 2-3 minutes.

Now, if you’re playing along at home, you should know that this type of behavior will stir up a whole mess of legal problems for you—I can think of 4 or 5 charges right off the top of my head—but you’re not going to want to leave the job halfway finished.

Me: Oh, good, you answered! I’m calling on my cell phone ‘cause I tried to reach you several times on my home phone and you didn’t pick up. Listen, I might have found your cat. How old is it?

Me: Hmm. I have an all black cat here, but this one looks to be right at about 3 years old. Oh well, Bye-bye!

Unfortunately, I’ll never be able to carry out this wonderful idea, because, well, it just wouldn’t be right. I find that sometimes my great ideas have to take a backseat to what the Lord would have me do. When I think of Jesus telling the disciples to follow him, it seems that command might imply some practical application. Maybe it means sacrificing my own desires in preference to God’s desires for me.

I’m not perfect and never will be but I am learning that I’ll know God better if I seek to follow him, and I can follow him better if I seek to obey him.

Now, I have to wrap this up so that I can go cat hunting. And that’s “hunt” as in help find the lost cat, not “hunt” as in shooting cats. I felt I’d better clarify that statement before I add another charge to the list!

(Candy Arrington & Kim Atchley, 2010, Harvest House, 291 pgs, ISBN #9780736925266)

As their parents age or are stricken with illness, adult children may find their roles reversed. Instead of being the child, they find themselves acting as the parent, and this new role can be overwhelming. Often, one sibling assumes the responsibility because they may be the one closest geographically to the parent, or the eldest, or maybe even just because they are the most dependable sibling.

Juggling the duties of this new undertaking can be even more challenging when a caregiver doesn’t live nearby. Authors Candy Arrington and Kim Atchley understand care giving from the inside out. Arrington oversaw her mother’s care while Artchley managed care for both of her parents who were stricken with cancer within a short time of each other.

In their book, Arrington and Atchley give a detailed plan on what to expect and how to manage. Caregivers fulfill multiple roles, that of child, parent, nurse and more. They may find themselves isolated and exhausted because of juggling work, family responsibilities and caring for their loved one. The authors suggest that caregivers allow parents to be independent for as long as possible. They map out how to organize medical records, handle the many doctor visits and prescriptions, how to aid mobility, cope with transportation challenges, and nurture emotional stability. They also cover common concerns like how to decide if home health care is the best option, how to manage parental finances (should this become necessary), how to deal with declining senses, such as hearing, vision, memory and cognitive capabilities, and they even have suggestions as to how to transition back to pre-care-giving life after the death of a parent.

A unique feature in the book is that the viewpoint of both caregivers and parents regarding their own experiences are offered. This provides a balanced perspective to help readers understand both sides and the challenges each faces. For instance, one elderly woman related the hurt and isolation she experienced when her children insisted she move closer to them. She gave up all that was familiar to her, including friends, church and familiar surroundings only to find that her children kept limited contact with her after her move. In another case, a daughter talked about helping her dying father celebrate his anniversary in a memorable way.

Each chapter references resources where caregivers can find more information and support for the topic covered. This valuable section alone makes the book worth purchasing. In addition, the back section of the book includes handy checklists and forms caregivers might find useful for tracking records, prescriptions, and medical visits.

When Your Aging Parent Needs Care is an important resource for anyone with the responsibility of providing care for a friend or family member. It is also worthwhile for the professional who provides guidance to those who are interacting with caregivers.

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DBMIM June 8, 2010