MIM Ezine, March 23, 2010

-- Book Review, "Simply Strategic Volunteers: Empowering People for Ministry," by Tony Morgan and Tim Stevens, reviewed by Tom Hanover.

Since opening our Christian Coffee shop, we’ve had many comments about how warm and inviting it is. It may sound a bit funky but we purposely chose yellow and gold colors because of their warmth. We tossed in some cushy sofas and decent looking used furniture. It didn’t take long for small group leaders to discover they like the store. The layout and atmosphere is really appealing, especially the back room which boasts several comfy couches. And we have found that more and more groups from many different churches and walks have begun using our facility. We have everything from early morning men’s groups to knitting groups mentoring young girls, and we love when them being here.

Few of us stop to think about how the environment plays such an important part in making us feel at home, but it can have a powerful impact. Have you ever gone into a restaurant or café and felt immediately uncomfortable? Something about the physical layout or décor immediately repels you? A restaurant in California where we lived had so much potential, but the décor was bland. It seemed that it couldn’t make up its mind whether it wanted to be a sports bar or a diner. (Does one baseball poster and a mounted ball cap and glove count?) On another occasion, I visited a friend’s coffee shop. It was quaint and had nice decorative tables, but the marble tops and tiled floor made the atmosphere cool. Even the tables were cold to the touch. He’d also gone to the length of having a Tuscan-style mural of the Italian countryside painted on the walls, but nothing in the store made one want to hang out.

Neither of these establishments are in business now. I’m not really surprised. If the owners wanted people to come and hang out, they missed putting in elements to generate that environment.

Just as eating establishments should pay attention to the environment they create in order to cater to its customers, small group leaders should also pay attention to the environment in which their small groups meet. Granted, few of us own coffee shops, but we can make sure our group members are comfortable rather than ill at ease.

Many different elements go into making small groups grow numerically, but the actual physical layout can play a vital role. Here are some tips that can help increase chances people will want to attend your group and even better….come back and bring others.

· Meet in a room that is a comfortable size. One that is too large or awkwardly shaped can make it difficult for people to feel connected. In the same way, one that is too small can make people feel claustrophobic. The room can also get uncomfortably stuffy.

· Furniture also plays a part. Which is more appealing? Cold metal folding chairs or a cushy sofa? Does the room you meet in have ample seating?

· How about lighting? Are you subjecting group members to the glare of florescent light or do you have the comfortable glow of lamps? If there are lamps, is there enough light for group members to read their lessons or study the Bible?

· Does the environment say, “I’m here to entertain and impress,” or “my place is your place…take off your shoes and get comfortable?”

· Do you want to reach unchurched people? If so they will be more likely to come if your small group meets on neutral ground. Rather than a church, you might consider a coffee shop, a restaurant, a business, etc.

I began to see how environment matters when a small group we facilitated rotated houses. People flocked to some houses but when the meetings were held in other homes, attendance was scarce. The most popular locations were where the folks hosting created a comfortable environment and extended hospitality to make folks feel at home. People fellowship and learn best when they are at ease and feel at home. With some attention to detail group leaders can provide an environment that draws people and keeps them coming back.

Teena Stewart and her husband, Jeff, operate Java Journey a Christian coffee shop ministry (http://www.javajourney.org.) She is a published author, ministry consultant, and speaker. Her most recent book is Successful Small Groups from Concept to Practice. For more info about Teena see http://www.ministryinmotion.net/teena_stewart.html or http://www.serendipitini.com. You are welcome to email her with questions or comments at smartwords@embarqmail.

Marriage is tough. No doubt about it. And why do most marriages fail? One word: Extremely poor communication.

So how do you get the conversational ball rolling in your marriage? The next time your wife comes to you and wants to have a heart-to-heart, instead of clamming up and just sitting there like you usually do, I say load her up with some advice, and lots of it.

Trust me, your wife will appreciate it. Women are sick and tired of men who are thoughtful and supportive. When your wife complains to you about her day, the last thing she wants is for you to patiently listen to her and empathize with her struggles. If you do that, you’ll automatically lose her respect and she’ll never think of you as a real man again.

No, what she wants from you is a lecture—a point-by-point, instructional diatribe about how most of her problems are her own fault. Tell her that her troubles are typical of her gender and that her real problem is that she’s thinking like a woman. Then tell her what you would do if you were in her shoes, or better yet, how you would have avoided the whole mess in the first place by using good ol’ man-sense.

Oh, and don’t wait until the end of her wah-wah, I-had-a-hard-day story to launch your lecture either. Interrupt her after about 2-3 minutes. Tell her that you get it, that you’ve heard it a thousand times before, and here’s what you think about it. She will appreciate your go-get-‘em attitude and the fact that you didn’t make her relive the hardships of her day.

Make sure you don’t phone it in either. Most women can spot a fraud a mile away, so get up in her face and make her believe that you mean it. She’ll respect you more for it.

The point I’m making here is that your woman needs and, yes, even craves your input. The stoic male that never interacts with his wife is passé. The modern husband is involved in his marriage and demonstrates his amore by offering his opinion about the way things are being run.

Instead of vegging out in front of the television all day, why not help your wife out by telling her what she’s doing wrong? Imagine the look of delight and ecstasy on her face when you tell her that the house is a mess, the kids are out of control, and that it wouldn’t kill her to throw on some make-up every now and then.

Ahhh, the doors of communication are now open and the flow of love can begin! Tears might begin to well up in her eyes. Her lower lip might begin to tremble. She might melt into your arms in gratitude for your loving and open torrent of criticism.

But don’t stop there! Now that you have opened the door for genuine and meaningful dialog, throw caution to the wind and tell her that her family makes the Osbournes look normal, that she can’t tell a joke, and, yes, that you’ve noticed she’s gaining weight lately.

If these words don’t land you on a second honeymoon, then I don’t know what will.

Admittedly, this plan might not be the wisest move. Uh, maybe not even a reasonably smart move.

And that’s how it is with wisdom on this planet—sometimes it’s a hard thing to find. Psalm 111:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (NIV)

I like that phrase, “the beginning of wisdom.” I believe that the best way to approach any challenge—whether it’s running a business, leading a church, or just trying to communicate with your spouse—is to seek God and get his direction first. I’ve found that by doing so, you can save yourself a lot of pain and frustration.

And speaking of pain, as I read back over this article I can see now that the communication philosophy that I have suggested lacks perspective—the perspective that you’ll die a slow and horrible death if you ever, ever talk to your wife like that. Now there’s some wisdom for you.

Simply Strategic Volunteers: Empowering People for Ministry by Tony Morgan and Tim Stevens (Group Publishing, 2005) 232 pages with discussion guide, ISBN 978-0-7644-2756-5

If your church has too many volunteers and you have difficulty keeping all of them busy, you can probably pass on this book. However, if you are constantly scrambling to accomplish ministry with volunteers and wish you had several more, buy a pack of yellow highlighters and sit down with this book. Better yet, get several copies and pass them around to your ministry leaders.

At the time of writing this book Morgan and Stevens were on staff together at Granger Community Church where the church has grown from 400 to more than 4,000 in weekly attendance. They know something about the recruitment, nurture, and deployment of hundreds of volunteers.

This book contains 99 solutions to recruit, train, motivate, and sustain volunteers in effective ministry. Many of the solutions are only a couple of pages long. The ideas are practical and down-to-earth. Any ministry leader will find many ideas to improve their leadership development of volunteers.

Here is a summary of one example. Stevens notes that there are three main factors that attract or repel potential team members: the vision, the leader, and the team. Without a clear and compelling vision, volunteers will wander off to find something else to do. Volunteers commit themselves to a task in order to make a difference in the world. If there is no vision, the task becomes merely busy work.

The leader can become the bottleneck of the mission. If the leader is effective in leadership, possesses integrity, and genuinely cares about the mission and team; then volunteers will be attracted to the ministry. If the leader does not earn this respect, volunteers will look elsewhere.

Volunteers will attract to a team that looks like people they want to be around. If the rest of the team is viewed as radically different or perhaps uninteresting, volunteers will likely look for a different group.

Stevens notes that the mix of vision, leader, and team can produce some diverse flavors and styles of ministry. Regardless of the order or emphasis of each of these components, these three will impact the “attraction factor” of your ministry.

My leadership coach has been persistently suggesting I purchase this book. She was right. I’m buying additional copies to read with my ministry leaders. It is that useful to the ministry leader working with volunteers every day.

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DBMIM March 23, 2010