MIM EZINE - MAY 17, 2006TABLE OF CONTENTS--
-“Why can’t the youth just worship with the adults?” By R. Scott Miller
-Leadership Login: "Protecting the Young Ones" Tom Hanover
-Book Review – "Mentoring Leaders: Wisdom for Developing Character, Calling, and Competency", By Carson Pue, Reviewed by Teena M. Stewart DreamBuilder’s Ministry in
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The Reconstruction of A Youth Worker Scott’s Ramblings “Why can’t the youth just worship with the adults?” By R. Scott Miller
Why can’t the youth just worship with the adults? This is a solid and honest question. I am asked this one question quite a bit. Here is the reality. Youth can worship with adults. Unfortunately, the question is are youth really worshiping or are they sitting there passing time? Here is the more realistic question from my point of view: why can’t adults worship with the youth?
Feeling Old! I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s going to church with my parents. We had the old style church with Sunday school at 9:45 am and worship at 11:00 am. Kids and adults alike went to Sunday School, and then as a family went to church. I learned many of the hymns and memorized much of the liturgy. I learned worship by rote.
When I arrived at high school age, a new paradigm of worship happened -- THE BALCONY!!!!! This was the territory of a few adults and many high school youth. Sometimes we would listen and participate in worship. Much of the time it was our chance to be social. For some of us it was a great place to play poker.
Here is the reality. When we were little, we had to sit with our parents and be perfect children. When we got older, we just had to be in the room. I know that many of you reading this are either snickering because you did something similar growing up… or trying to act offended because you wish you would have had a balcony of your own at your church!
In most mainline churches our children and youth did not really learn what worship meant until they were adults. In reality, they put up with going to church. Were they really worshiping with adults, or were they just putting in time with adults?
The Worship Tease This is where the reality of Youth Worship comes into play. Our youth really do want to figure out this worship thing. Unfortunately, we very rarely give them the chance to experience it in their reality. We often like to tease our kids with this concept of worship. We do this by going to concerts, youth conferences, camps, retreats and other activities where other youth are gathered. At these events, there are big amps, loud speakers, rocking bands and youth truly participating in a very loud, rowdy worship atmosphere. At these special events, the youth get the opportunity to experience God at their level. Then we bring them back to home base and expect them to sit and participate in church the way they had to before.
What is wrong with this picture? If you tease a dog long enough with a treat that you never give to them, what happens? Either the dog will bite you or get tired of you and walk away. That is what has happened with many of our youth. They begin to get frustrated with the church with which they have grown up and either quit going or go find the cool trendy church that their friends attend instead. At times, the mainline churches have missed the point when it comes to worship.
What’s wrong with our Contemporary Service? Now we face the situation and ponder. My church does have contemporary worship. We did this to keep the young people in church. My question then is: are your youth involved in leadership with this worship service? If you are truly intentional in developing a worship service in which youth want to participate, then you need to have youth in leadership.
Have you looked at your music list? Has the majority of your music been written or adapted in the last 5 years? Who makes up your worship band? Are there youth in the band? If you cannot answer yes to most of these questions, your service is more likely an Adult Contemporary Service that you encourage your youth to attend. This will work in some churches, if there is an intentional blending of worship styles for both adults and youth. Unfortunately, more often than not, it will not be appealing to youth.
Here is a good example. What is the difference between The Black Eyed Peas and Bon Jovi? Actually there is a big difference. If you were a girl in the 80’s, you were dreaming of Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora while the guys in the 80’s wanted to be them. If you know the pop songs of Bon Jovi and the members of the band, do you also know who Fergie and Taboo are? (If you answer yes, then you are probably a youth minister). These two styles of music are not just different stylistically. They are from a different generation. Why can’t worship be generation specific as well?
Taking Worship Serious Look at the last question. Even if we had a service geared toward youth, would they take it serious? Would they look at it as a worship service or a social hour? If we are looking at an adult response, no youth service will look like the youth are taking it serious. Some adults would be offended to see the youth jumping up and down during a song, dancing to a song, talking back to the preacher during the sermon … especially when the minister asks those rhetorical questions that he or she never intended anyone to answer.
Do the youth look at the worship service as a social hour? Here is another reality to youth worship. You are not just trying to build a worship service, you are truly trying to build a worshipping community. If this is working, the youth and adults that attend will be interfacing with each other. They will use this as a time to update each other about what is going on in their lives. They will use this time to laugh and cry together. This is going to be a natural outcome of this type of worship. Enjoy it! Embrace it! Get excited about it! What would happen in our churches if our traditional services did more of this? Would Finance Committee and Administrative Council Meetings be as bad to attend if this infection happened?
I know I have rambled quite a bit and this is a lot to digest. I hope you will think about it. I hope even more you will take some time to talk back with me about it. If you want to begin some discussion about some of the ideas I have brought up this issue please e-mail me at rscottmiller1@aol.com. In the future, I may include some of your questions in my column. Protect Your Family and Your Computer with Reliable, Safe, Internet Filtering & Anti Virus Software
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Leadership Login: Protecting the Young Ones Tom Hanover thanover@pastors-study.com
“Tom, I have a problem. Someone in my congregation notified me that one of our members was convicted of gross sexual imposition. He’s been asking me to work with children. What do I do?”
Hmmm! He had my full attention now. This is a tough leadership situation, and unfortunately, one that is becoming more common.
When I first started as a pastor 32 years ago, my father advised me to just preach the Word and love the people. The character of ministry leadership has changed immensely over the years. Now a pastor also has to learn basic legal, accounting, financial, psychological, and medical best practices to lead effectively. Ministry is not for the faint of heart or the lazy of mind.
Of course, the pre-emptive action always offers more options than the reactive retort too late in the process. One of the first protective measures practiced by most organizations and agencies working with children and youth is the legal background check. Every church should run a background check on all persons – paid staff and volunteers – who have direct contact with children and youth. The volunteer or staff person needs to provide written permission, social security number, and addresses of residence for their adult years. Should a person decline to provide such information or permission, church policy should prohibit them from serving in that capacity.
“But, Tom, we’re a small church. And we’ve known Aunt Sarah for years.” I have no doubt that Aunt Sarah is a reliable and trustworthy individual. However, in most states civil employment law and good old-fashioned fairness requires us to treat everyone the same. I know many dear saints who have led the way in offering background checks because they love the children.
“But, Tom, we’re a really small church. We don’t have anyone under the age of 65.” That is a different situation with different challenges, but please do not assume that only children and youth are vulnerable to people taking advantage of them.
There are a number of sources for conducting background checks. In many areas the local police department will assist with a background check. There are many reliable companies who specialize in these searches. In addition, there are other law enforcement agencies who offer these services.
If you do not know where to begin, engage some other churches to see if they have used agencies they trust. Contact your local police department. If you consider private companies, always check them out for references and with the Better Business Bureau.
In our opening example (a true story) another local agency had conducted the background check for another purpose. Someone in that agency and also in my caller’s church had notified the pastor. Now that the pastor is aware, what should the pastor do?
If the pastor or church leadership has knowledge of such allegations, they are obligated to investigate. First, check the information for accuracy. In most states court records are public records and available over the internet. If necessary, employ an attorney to check court records. Relying on false or incorrect information is negligent and inexcusable.
Secondly, implement a preplanned response. Each church should have preplanned policies and procedures for addressing concerns. A good resource for preparing these policies is Safe Sanctuaries by Joy Thornburg Melton. I’ll write more about preparing these policies in the June issue.
Pastors and lay leadership are still responsible for protecting the children and youth of a congregation, even if they did not request the information. Therefore, a carefully and prayerfully prepared response is needed. The information cannot be ignored. When in doubt, contact a local attorney.
I would recommend a response that might go something like this:
These are delicate and difficult ministries to lead. But people trapped in these kinds of backgrounds need Jesus, too. Jesus came for the sick and the broken, not the self-righteous.
Consequently, effective ministry leadership in the 21st century will collaborate with legal authorities and social service agencies to create helpful, redemptive, and hopeful relationships with people while protecting the children and youth of our communities.
Helping Churches Dream Dreams and Live out their Vision! Book Review – Mentoring Leaders: Wisdom for Developing Character, Calling, and Competency By Carson Pue, Baker Books, 2005, ISBN # 080109187X, 266 pages Reviewed by Teena M. Stewart Carson Pue is president of Arrow Leadership Ministries, an international ministry focused on mentoring church leaders. Pue shares much of what he has learned during his time with Arrow. It is an insightful and captivating read.
Those wishing to grow as leaders or to disciple and develop other leaders will benefit from this resource. The book is well rounded, covering five phases of the mentoring matrix. These include self-awareness, (understanding our gifts and skills as well as the shadow side of ourselves); visioneering (ministry idea development); implementing (putting the pieces in place to plan out a ministry); freeing up (breaking chains that hold leaders back from potential); and sustaining (keeping our ministry and our leadership effective and vital).
One particular chapter that stands out is Freeing Up Leaders. Many leaders fail to live up to their potential because painful past experiences act as unseen shackles holding them back. Often we are not even aware that these exist. By becoming more aware and going through assessments, we can identify those negatives and work to overcome the scars they cause. Areas to consider that impact us include: parental upbringing, generational sin issues, spiritual chains, vows (often unvoiced), and power and control issues.
Each chapter of the book assists leaders at various stage of leadership skills so the book is beneficial to both novice and seasoned leaders.
There are books, and then there are books! Having read a myriad of leader development and team building books, it is hard to get excited about another book on leadership, and yet, this one stands out. By the time I completed this book, I had highlighted nearly every page. It will definitely go on my shelf for future reference.
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