MIM Ezine, November 10, 2006

-- Book Review: "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable," By Patrick Lencioni, reviewed by Tom Hanover.

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Christians typically squawk when evolutionists raise the possibility of humans being related to apes. But I’ve got a humbling confession to make. I feel a strong kinship to monkeys.

Let me qualify that. I’ve heard that Africans have a sure fire way of catching monkeys. The method is so simple it’s ridiculous. They put a banana in jar. When a monkey spies the fruit, he reaches inside and grabs hold of the banana. Monkeys are so greedy they won’t let go even when in danger of being caught. He values the possession more than his freedom.

Sometimes I’m like a selfish monkey, holding onto my possessions with clenched fists. This first became evident to me while co-leading the communications team for our church’s building campaign. While creating materials to motivate others to give of their time and talents I found myself inwardly grumbling about the cost of my time spent on the campaign. As a freelance communicator I mourned the loss of time I could have spent generating income.

I was hardly a cheerful giver. The campaign jolted me into self-awareness. My fist was tightly clenched around the banana. I learned that everything I owned--my time, money AND resources should be willingly shared.

I once heard a parable that compared three different objects to three different types of givers. The first type of giver is like flint: a hard, cold stone that gives off chips and sparks only after much hammering.

The second type of giver is like a sponge that releases its water only after you wring it out. The third type of giver is like a honeycomb that overflows with its own sweetness.

Generosity should drip from us like the sweetness of the honeycomb. For some it does. But for others, like me, it doesn’t come naturally. Generosity is akin to kindness, the fruit of the spirit. I see it as a hybrid fruit. Both have everything to do with how we react to the needs of others. We are faced daily with situations where we have the opportunity to do something selfless for someone else. God seems to ask us “are you going to release the banana or hold on for dear life?”

It’s not the amount. It’s the attitude. Some of my favorite Biblical examples of generous givers center around people with very little material wealth. They include the story of the widow at Zarephath, who shared her last bit of flour and oil with the prophet Elijah (I Kings 17: 7-16); the story of the weeping woman who broke open an expensive bottle of perfume and wiped Jesus feet with her own hair (Mark 14:3); and the story of the new believers in Acts who shared everything they had among each other so no person was needy (Acts 4:32). Their giving wasn’t the end of the story, but the beginning. Each sacrificial act deeply impacted someone else’s life and - get this - impacted the giver, too.

Some people have the God-given spiritual gift of giving, (Romans 12:6-8). That’s why they are passionate about giving and love doing it so much. But just because we don’t have this spiritual gift doesn’t mean we are off the hook. Luke 21:2 says it’s how we give, not how much we give that is most important.

God holds us accountable for the way we use our resources. Luke 16 addresses accountability issues regarding our resources, and includes both the parable of the shrewd steward and the parable of the rich man named Lazarus. The first story is about a steward accused of wasting his master’s possessions. When the master questions him about his management methods, the steward realizes he’s in danger of losing his position unless he takes some drastic measure. He scrambles to get his house in order, talking with his master’s debtors and working “deals” to reduce the amount they owe, collecting on the balance. In the end, the master commends him for his shrewdness. As Jesus tells this parable he makes a puzzling statement. “I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”

I believe Jesus means each of us is responsible for using our resources to reach others for the kingdom. Jesus also added, “whoever is trusted with very little can also be trusted with much and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” (NIV) If we’re not going to be good stewards in the small things, we’ll never graduate to larger things. Failure to share what we have is a sin.

Though both parables are very different, the lesson is the same. All of us have God-given resources and are to be wise stewards regarding their management. We can either use them for selfish motives or to change and influence our world for Christ. The parables also show that we can use these resources most beneficially in every day life settings. We associate best with peers and equals. It’s not just about how we use our money, it’s about how we use all of our resources to reach and influence “our world.” Certain resources - our talents, skills, and time - can be just as valuable as money. Giving can be something as simple as taking time from our busy schedule to do a kindness for someone else.

A lesson in generosity. Shortly after my family moved to California, a woman named Peggy offered her hair salon services to our family for free. Our family hasn’t been the only ones to receive the benefit of Peggy’s complementary services. She often uses the salon to minister to and share her faith with clients as she works on their hair. I had never considered a hair salon as a potential ministry outreach until that day, but Peggy faithfully used what God gave her to reach others.

Generous people are comfortable enough with what they have to give it away. Before you can give something away, you must learn how to give to yourself.

Find the balance. My parents were Depression-era kids, so living frugally was ingrained in them. Dad made a modest income as a printing press operator. Coupled with mom’s particularly impoverished upbringing and the responsibility of caring for a family of seven, my parents dictated our family’s tight-fisted existence.

Our family’s unspoken rules were: “never take two paper towels when one will suffice. Wash plastic disposable tableware. And never run more than a couple of inches of water at bath time.” Violators were subjected to a fierce pounding on the bathroom door demanding that they stop running so much water. The lesson I learned from my upbringing was that as an adult I know how to live within my means. The downside, however, is that I find it difficult to spend money, even on myself.

It is one thing to be careful with expenses and quite another to be miserly. Miserliness is a sin. It shows a lack of regard for others and ourselves. Christ recognized the importance of treating ourselves with respect when he commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matt. 19:19). He wasn’t talking about selfish love. He simply wanted us to have a good foundation for drawing from our own resources.

Self-generosity is the starting place for developing a generous spirit. If you can’t enjoy what you have without feeling guilty, you need to make some adjustments. Start by developing a habit of rewarding yourself. It can be something as simple as treating yourself to dessert after a hard day’s work, or buying a favorite book. Once you learn to give to yourself, the next step is to pass it along to others.

Start practicing generosity so it becomes a habit. Shortly after I promised God to work on becoming more generous, I had a few opportunities to put it into practice. The first came when I won a free dessert at a burger joint via a scratch-off coupon. On impulse I donated it to a young girl at the next table. She was delighted.

The second opportunity came when I learned that Megan, a single mom I knew, needed help moving. I assisted for a couple of hours and in the process got to know her better. Both of these incidents are pretty insignificant, but it was amazing how good I felt when I thought about it later..

If you want to become a good pianist, you have to practice. If you want to develop a generous spirit, you have to practice that, too. Practicing makes you open your eyes to additional ways to touch others.

Give away one banana at a time. Look for giving opportunities, even little ones. We are saved by grace not works. We need to be careful in thinking that we must do certain things in order to earn our way into heaven. God, however, does want us to mature and one of the ways to do so is to work on our growing edges. We learn to give by giving away.

Someone once wisely said that if we find our love for someone has lessened, we can rekindle that love by acting as if we care for them. If we act like we care, eventually we will start caring. The same is true for generosity. Like the honeycomb, the more we practice generosity, the sweeter we become.

God expects us to be responsible stewards. Some of us are naturally generous, while others wrestle with sharing what we have. If you find yourself challenged to become a more generous person, don’t despair. Change happens one opportunity at a time; or should I say, one banana at a time.

Write down possible causes you can think of for why you have a problem with selfless giving. Include isolated incidents that might have made you this way.

Look for small ways where you can give of your talents, skills, time or money this week, then jot down what you did. How did it make you feel?

Teena Stewart is a published writer, a ministry consultant and coach, and a product developer for Ministry in Motion. You can email her at smartwords@sbcglobal.net. To learn more about Teena, her writing, and consulting services, click here.

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Thanksgiving is almost here and I’m all atwitter with anticipation. In celebration, I plan to once again partake in the age-old tradition of gorging myself with an embarrassing amount of food, creating gastro-intestinal problems the like of which are rarely experienced in industrialized countries.

This year my family and I are planning on eating out Thanksgiving Day, and are in serious discussions regarding the restaurant we want to go to.

Restaurant selection is a big decision that you don’t want to botch. The main issue, as I see it, is whether you want to be waited on or would rather serve yourself at a buffet.

If you choose to be served, then your greatest challenge, of course, will be your waiter. Waiters are a strange and mysterious group of people who have their own language and moral code, not unlike the ancient Druids or the David Hasselhoff Fan Club. Those attempting to interact with them must be aware that their language and ours do not necessarily mean the same things.

For example, when the waiter gestures toward your empty plate and says, “Can I get that out of the way for you?” he really means, “It’s time for you to go now.”

When a waiter places your check on your table and says, “Can I get anything else for you?” he really means, “It’s time for you to go now, but leave your credit card.”

When a waiter serves your food in a timely manner with a smile on his face, it means he did something gross to your entree back in the kitchen.

Eating at a restaurant with a wait staff has other drawbacks too, like being served by an overworked staff who would just as soon see you choke on a roll than have you ask them for another glass of tea. Because they’re desperately trying to avoid having one more thing to do, these waiters often wait until your mouth is packed like a chipmunk’s before asking if you need anything else.

There’s no way to win in this situation. Your best alternative is to attempt the complicated motor activity of chewing while shaking your head “No.” You’ll most likely wind up looking like a bobble-head doll but that’s infinitely better than the alternative which is holding up your empty tea glass and saying something like “May ah pweeb haf pum more pea?”

A] I could get permission to scoot my chair up to the buffet and eat right there instead having to be bothered with all those pesky trips back and forth to and from my table, and

B] There was some type of national standard (or law, if you will) to dictate behavior in the buffet line—namely, just choose a food type, put it on your plate, and move on already. I always get stuck in line behind the guy who weighs each food selection as though he’s making an important life decision.

It’s a buffet! You’re not buying a house. You’re not having surgery. If you make the wrong choice, just come back and get something else! This is America, by jingo, and that’s how we do things here.

Of course, one of the most difficult parts of Thanksgiving is the subtle pressure of knowing that sometime during the day you’re expected to muster up a little thankfulness. And where does this thing called “thankfulness” come from, anyway?

I have found that, just like my TV remote control, thankfulness is easiest to find when I’m not looking for it. It seems that when I concentrate instead, on the good things God has placed in my life—my family, my ministry, my Rolls Royce (kidding!), thankfulness comes easily.

The Bible says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matt 5:8 NIV

I believe God’s hand may most easily be seen in the countless graces we experience throughout each day. When we learn to recognize the author of these good things placed in our lives, then thankfulness is a natural byproduct.

So, when you’re home nibbling on your third helping of turkey and sweet potato pie, think of me at the restaurant, and pray the waiter hasn’t done anything gross to my food.

Visit his Web site at www.charlesmarshallcomedy.com or contact him via e-mail at charles@charlesmarshallcomedy.com.

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The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

This book is a little older than most of the books we review on our MIM web site. We try to assess books that are hot off the shelf, and sometimes - when a publisher is generous - a little ahead of release date.

This work by Lencioni, however, significantly applies to many ministry settings. Pastoral leaders must often develop teams. Some teams work closely with the leader and others are developed to run with a project with only loose connection to the ministry leader.

What makes a team work? Why are some teams very effective and others dysfunctional? How can a leader grow a healthy team? Lencioni writes his fable in a business setting, but his principles apply to churches, schools, and anywhere else leaders are forming groups.

Through the course of the story he not only identifies the five dysfunctions, but how an effective leader can address those issues. Through the eyes of Kathryn Peterson, who takes over a computer tech company, the reader follows Lencioni’s thinking as Peterson teaches and coaches her executives to become a healthy team.

Team building is a skill that is critical to effective ministry leadership. Leaders who recruit compassionate and competent individuals will fall short of the accomplishments of leaders who can forge a collection of individuals into a team. Lencioni’s work helps a leader to learn how to do that.

Lencioni is president of The Table Group, a San Francisco Bay Area management consulting firm, author of several popular books, and a sought-after public speaker.

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MIM Ezine-November 10, 2006

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable