MIM Ezine, November 24, 2006

-- The Reconstruction of A Youth Worker- “A Conversation About Youth Worship Part II,” by R. Scott Miller.

-- Book Review: "Overcoming Barriers to Growth," by Michael Fletcher, reviewed by Teena Stewart.

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I was devastated. I had gone to visit a young man who had been quite involved in the church, but for some reason had suddenly quit coming. His wife continued attending church, but when I inquired about her husband, she only responded, “You need to come visit.” And so I did.

When I brought up the subject about his absence in worship, I discovered something I did not want to learn. My flippant, smart aleck comment at the wrong time offended John.

Certainly, my offense was not as serious as King David’s, but John became my Nathan. He pointed out my sin and I was convicted.

In my role of supervising pastoral leaders and churches, I have the opportunity to observe many, many leaders – both lay and clergy. One of the most devastating flaws of a leader is a lack of self-awareness, which often results in being unaware of how one’s behavior impacts and effects other people.

Since ministry is all about relationships, a lack of awareness of how other people are responding can be fatal. A leader may believe people are opposing his or her leadership, but, in reality, they may be responding to the leader’s personality or manner of behavior that can undermine his or her ability to lead effectively.

I was invited to preach in the church of one of my pastors. During the sermon I noticed many people turning their heads to look at the pastor. Curious about what was distracting them, I looked over to discover the pastor on his hands and knees on the floor.

Knowing that he had some issues with diabetes, my first thought was that he was sick. When he noticed everyone looking at him, he explained he had lost a contact lens.

Whew! Thank goodness he was not ill, but he did not seem at all aware that his actions were distracting and undermining the time of worship that was taking place.

There are a couple of reasons for a lack of self-awareness. One is inattention. My pastor friend, who was looking for his contact, was not paying attention to others. He did not ask himself the questions: “What would happen if I crawled down on the floor in the middle of the sermon? How would my behavior affect other people?”

As leaders, our behavior, our attitude, our mood, and our body language affects many people far beyond our realization. Sometimes it is beyond our control. Sometimes we need to draw a line. Others may blame the affect beyond what we think is reasonable, but to underestimate the impact that our actions have on others can cause great grief for everyone.

A second reason for a lack of self-awareness is subjectivity, or the inability to see other points of view different from our own.

It is human to assume that if someone disagrees with us, we need to enlighten him or her. On the other hand, the mature leader listens to disagreement and conflict in order to appreciate other perspectives and their view of reality.

In my earlier example, I thought my remark was innocent and funny, but John was hurt and insulted by it. I could have explained what I meant by the remark until I was blue in the face, or I could have put myself in his shoes and sincerely apologized.

One of the most interesting examples of healthy self-awareness is Jesus’ example in Luke 8:40-48. Jairus, an official in the local synagogue – obviously an important person – begs Jesus to come to his home. His 12-year-old daughter is dying. Does that sound like an urgent need to you?

As Jesus goes with him, a woman who has been ill for 12 years – as long as the daughter has been alive – pushes into the crowd behind him to touch the edge of his coat. Instantly, she is healed and she blends back into the crowd, but Jesus stops immediately. Jesus has such heightened self-awareness that even in the jostling of the crowd, he senses that something different has happened. He recognizes it. He observes it. He knows it.

I’m not sure, but that must be a spiritual gift, which I don’t have. I just don’t operate at that level of sensitivity. On the other hand, I believe I can grow in my self-awareness by paying attention to others and by asking questions, such as what is that person feeling? If I were in his or her shoes, how would I respond?

I also practice self-awareness by listening to others, and I have found that their choice of stories and comments are neither haphazard nor coincidental. Usually, they reveal their inner thoughts and feelings. And I must ask myself: what is this person telling me?

Jesus displays heightened self-awareness in that he stops to speak to the woman. I can only imagine the anxiety of Jairus, the synagogue official. He was probably thinking that since this woman had been ill for 12 years, Jesus should go heal his daughter and come back to the woman and take care of her concerns. What difference would a few more minutes make?

In fact, it turns out that Jesus is too late. The incident with the woman delays Jesus and the little girl dies. Jairus must have been beside himself. Again, Jesus is aware and assures Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; only believe, and she will be well.” (Luke 8:50).

The self-aware leader pays attention to the immediate need presented to him or her. That is not to diminish the importance of planning and scheduling, but to recognize that God’s hopes and dreams for the leader may be right in the immediate moment.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer refers to the parable of the Good Samaritan when he notes that the priest and Levite could well have been reading their “Bibles” when they passed by the wounded man on the other side of the road. “We do not manage our time ourselves, but allow it to be occupied by God.” (Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, pg. 100) The self-aware leader watches for opportunities in which God will occupy one’s time.

It takes great courage to grow in self-awareness. To hear honest feedback about one’s behavior will challenge one’s grace and personal security. Without honest feedback, however, a leader is vulnerable to self-destruction, and the religious landscape is littered with victims of their own poor choices.

Effective leaders will recruit people like the prophet Nathan who will not only speak truth, but confront a leader with truth.

Tom Hanover has served in a variety of pastoral leadership roles for over 30 years, the last four as a District Superintendent supervising the ministries of more than 100 pastors and churches in southwest Ohio. He has a BA (cum laude) from Taylor University, and MDiv and DMin degrees from United Theological Seminary in Dayton.

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Last month you heard from a number of students about why youth worship is important to them. I would like to continue to explore this topic a bit more with two other questions.

My first question to this group is: How has the participation in youth worship at your church changed you?

Drew: The youth worship is what led me to become active in the church. It is what got me interested in the church.

Beth: Because of the youth worship I have definitely become closer to God. It gives me an opportunity to worship with my peers and still have a lot of fun. Without having a youth service, I'm afraid that I would not be as involved in my church and youth group as I am now. All my best friends I met at church, and they have always been there for me because my church and youth group are my second family.

Amanda: Youth worship has allowed me to open up more to God instead of running away. It helped me to realize that praising God can be for everyone and it can be fun instead of just for older people who have been around for a long time.

Timaji: It gave me a sense of security because I felt so much more comfortable around my peers. The youth minister I had was the one that really brought me closer to God. I can't tell you how much of a difference youth worship has made in my life and my relationship with Christ. Through that community and worship, I have been able to mature so much in my faith that I don't even recognize myself anymore.

Stephanie: I have become a lot more open to others. I used to be very shy, but through Youth worship I get to be open and have fun worshiping God with my friends.

Tim: Honestly, if it wasn't for our youth worship I would not be nearly as strong of a Christian as I am today. By having a youth program like this, I am surrounded by others with the same beliefs and this really makes for an awesome atmosphere to be in.

My second question was: What kind of impact - good or bad - is there on your church’s youth program by having a youth worship service?

Timaji: Phenomenal! Our youth program would be nothing without the worship service. I can't even imagine it, mostly because it's helped so many people become what they are, and without that I don't even know what it would be like.

Stephanie: It creates a bigger youth section of the church. It also gets the teens closer. Through our youth service and youth group I have become really good friends with people. Through the services, I know I can go to them for anything, especially talking about God. It is important to see more teens believe in Jesus. It creates a fun environment.

Tim: Having a youth worship service has had a great impact on my church's youth program. It brings the youth closer together, in my opinion, because they all go to the same service to worship God. Whereas, if we didn’t have a youth service, the youth would go to different services and they would not all be together.

Drew: There has been a good impact because it gives me the feeling as if I have a new family with about 30 brothers and sisters at my side.

Beth: I think that our church has had a good impact because of the youth worship. Our youth group has expanded a lot while I have been there. The way it happens is that when people enjoy coming to the worship service or youth group, they bring a friend. Then their friend starts coming every Sunday and the youth group grows. One of the best things about our youth group is forming such strong relationships. And our church benefits because the youth group gets involved in church activities.

Amanda: I think that having the youth worship service has helped more youth realize the “magic” of God.

Relationships are such an important part of the life of a teenager because they really are powerful. One of the biggest dangers in the life of a teenager is depression - the feeling as if they are alone or on their own. As we saw from both of these questions, the opportunity for youth to worship together strengthens both their relationship with God as well as their relationship with others.

When I was in seminary, I sat in a couple different workshops by Duffy Robbins. One of his trademark teaching pieces was the upside down funnel. Outside of the wide mouth funnel was the pool of humanity. The wide part of the funnel represented come-level activities. As you would work your way down the funnel, it represented more and more discipleship level programming. Think about what a cool opportunity we can give our youth to have worship as the entryway into the church. What if we can offer our youth a chance to come together and worship God in a way that is unique and special to them? Though I know many will cringe at this, but as Amanda put it: “realize the “magic” of God “

Have you spent time listening to what is missing in the lives of your students? Have you sought to find out where their heart is? I know in my little article exercise, it also gave me a chance to listen to some things for which my youth are looking. Also, it has been a chance for me to find new ways to get them involved in the ministry of our church. So even in the midst of writing an article like this, I also have had a chance to learn.

Feel free to contact Scott to either agree, disagree or just pick his brain some more on this topic of Youth Worship at rscottmiller1@aol.com Scott would love to hear from you!

R. Scott Miller is the Director of Christian Education and Youth at Milford First United Methodist Church in the suburbs of Cincinnati, OH. In his 15 years of youth ministry, Scott has written and developed much of the youth programming used in his churches. Scott has a B.A. in Radio/TV and Journalism from Morehead State University and an M.A. from Asbury Theological Seminary. Scott is the author of 7 Things Christians Don't Do and What To Do Instead by Abingdon Press.

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Few pastors do not worry about church growth, but it is an indicator of church health. Understanding growth barriers and making appropriate adjustments in how leadership interacts and operates is crucial if a church is to stay healthy.

The barriers differ according to where a church stands regarding their number of active members. Fletcher defines these clearly indicating that the first growth barrier occurs at around the 100/200 mark and the second at the 700/800 mark. By becoming aware of where their church stands on this growth graph, pastors can make adjustments in how they interact with key staff members and leaders in order to hurtle the barrier. Every stage requires a change in how leadership operates, not merely organizing external ministries. The focus must include readjusting internal leadership operations.

Michael Fletcher is more than qualified to explain the ins and outs of church growth. Since he began pastoring Manna Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, the church has grown from 350 to 4,000 active members. Though knowledge of how to lead a congregation through growth blocks is intuitive to an elite few, for most it is a skill that many pastors innately lack, but Fletcher believes they can be taught these leadership skills. It starts with developing a clear vision and conveying it to their leadership and members. Pastors must move from being shepherds to ranchers and recruit more qualified help rather than operating as the key leader. Fletcher explains this more fully in his book.

The book includes a forward by C. Peter Wagner who gives high praise to Overcoming Barriers to Growth calling it the best guide book available today on church growth. The book is simple and straightforward so that church leaders can easily grasp its concepts and implement them.

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MIM Ezine-November 24, 2006