DreamBuilders Ministry in Motion (DBMIM) Ezine, August 1, 2008

-- Book Review: "Blue Like Jazz: Non-religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality, by Donald Miller, reviewed by Teena M. Stewart.

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By Wilson McNair

All these ch-ch-changes in my life (new diet, walking/stretching/weights, daily "Taddeo" list, regular sleep schedule) was working. It was great help to the entire regime that I also had a weekly phone check-in with my long-time friend, now coach, Wes. He's in Denver, I'm here by the Bay of Saint Francis.
Then I decide to try and "go it alone" (with out Wes.) "Besides," I told myself, "He's got all this carpal tunnel surgery coming up so I'll give him a break." (I'll give HIM a break. Laugh now.) "And, hey, I've got my "tahdoo."

I talked to Wes two days ago (Monday, 19 May '8) and boy did I need it. He was not judgmental, not even a whiff, and he did not scold me. I was sure he would since I scold me constantly. (Wes isn't a scolder, at least never to me.) I sent Wes a brief update of the last few weeks (with bullet points) and so we got down to the important stuff quickly.

Just a quick note to all of us. Don't do it alone. I am in the process of inviting two other friends (besides my great friend Susan) to walk with me, one day a week, for an hour. If I am committed to three days of walking because of a commitment to a friend, I can do the other three or four days with just me and my Creator, getting things done.

Some of you have emailed me (outside the bounds of the comments section of my blog) to say you admired me for hiring a life coach, but you... "can't afford one, don't know any, wouldn't trust someone else to tell you what to do."
Try this:
• COST: My coach is my friend and he does it 'cause he loves me, for FREE.

• FINDING A COACH: Try taking on a coach who is also a friend and an expert in just ONE area of life you want to improve (health, organization, writing, art, speaking), developing a more efficient working environment, your "look" (grooming and fashion), etc.

• TRUST: I trust Wes and will try anything he suggests. Not every suggestion has worked FOR ME. So we retool and try other methods. Unless they ask you to jump off a high building, kick your dog, or eat nails, TRY IT. And try it for a full week to do it correctly before rejecting it.
100% Better, Soon!
Remember if you improve 1% a day in an area of your life, you will be TWICE as good in just 70 days.

Also, in the area of improving, expanding, or developing your skill set, focus on areas where you already have above average abilities or talent. Strengthen your strengths. If you try and strengthen your weaknesses it will take a long time and you will get discouraged. If you are below average, delegate!

This is based on the great work (and writing) of Marcus Buckingham and his excellent book NOW, DISCOVER YOUR STRENGTHS. With the purchase of the book you will receive a password to access an on line survey to discover your innate strengths.

This blog musing is reprinted by permission of McNair Wilson. McNair’s site, http://www.teawithmcnair.typepad.com/, like his work, is dedicated to assisting professionals and creative teams in recapturing their creative spirit.

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A friend of mine recently told me he was engaged. Since he’s never lived with a woman, I told him he’s going to need buy a few things that he hasn’t used before such as household cleaning supplies and furniture not made out of old milk crates.

After our conversation, I felt bad because I realized I had offered him no real insight into the mysteries of matrimonial union. So, in order to correct this oversight, I offer the following heretofore undisclosed observations to all young men contemplating walking the aisle.

Revelatory Marriage Fact No.1: Getting married is like getting a free memory upgrade. As a man, your hard drive was filled up long ago with important stuff like sports scores and movie trivia, but women, for some inexplicable reason, have tons of extra storage capacity that is yours for the asking.

As a married man, you may feel free to store stuff on her hard drive that think you might need later but don’t want to bother to remember yourself. “Wow, this is a great hamburger. Remind me to order this the next time we’re here.”

This is a tremendous resource that you will learn to thoroughly exploit. You will find yourself frequently asking her such questions as, “Honey, what’s the name of that song that I like?” or “What’re the names of those people that we’re friends with?” or “What’s my middle name?” The possibilities are as exciting as they are endless.

Wives are also frightfully good at remembering superfluous information like the names of your children and the dates of their births. All you will need to do is show up for your kid’s birthday party and act like you know what’s in the present he’s opening.

Revelatory Marriage Fact No. 2: When you get married, you will develop non-communication skills. God made women so they use about three times the number of words as a man in one day.

How is a guy supposed to interact with such a creature? In short, you’re not. Even attempting such a thing could almost instantaneously institutionalize you, or worse, turn you into a girl. Instead, you must develop the skill of tuning out your wife by converting the sound of her voice into white noise that you can easily ignore.

There is no way to instruct a young groom-to-be in this valuable art, but don’t worry, it will just happen. It’s a wondrous, mystical thing like falling in love, discovering a new kind of power tool, or getting a bite on your hook. You must relax and let it come to you. Rest assured, though, that one day you will be able to ignore your wife with the best of us.

When ignoring your wife, it is important to remember to evade detection by maintaining a semblance of conversation. Don’t try anything fancy at first or you’ll get busted for sure. Just a simple “Hmm?” or “Uh-huh” muttered occasionally will suffice. After a while you can graduate to “you don’t say” and “how about that.”

If she ever asks you, “What you mean by that?” know that you ventured too far and have officially blown your cover. You might as well start learning to “share your feelings” and “have conversations.” Shudder.

I recently read about a guy in Des Moines who started cutting coupons and getting manicures as a direct result of having conversations with his wife.

Getting married can be a little scary because you’re venturing into uncharted waters. You’re transitioning into a new stage of your life and you don’t know what to expect.

The important thing to remember when going through any change in life is that God’s love never changes. Nor is he ever far from you. Whatever awaits you on the other side of any change you encounter, you can count on God to not only walk with you through the transition, but also to be with you on the other side of it.

So I would encourage all those soon-to-be-married young men out there to embrace the change in your life. Oh, and you might also want to purchase a clothes hamper. I think you will find you will no longer be able to use the kitchen table as a dirty clothes receptacle.

Book Review – Blue Like Jazz: Non-religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality

Donald Miller lends his unique, evocative voice to what can best be described as a memoir written in a series of short essays. Miller, a writer, speaker and campus ministry leaders is still very young. And that is evident on occasion. At other times he seems wise beyond his years.

Miller has met some interesting people and been on some unique journeys—take living in the woods with homeless hippies and attending one of the U. S.’s most liberal colleges. You may not always agree with Miller, but you will certainly be shaken out of your comfort zone as Miller shares his distrust of the established church. Just how on target are Christians and how insular is our faith? Miller isn’t afraid to say. He’s also comfortable with walking in the opposite direction of the status quo when it comes to his own spirituality if he feels the main flow is off course.

You may not always agree with him, but you will certainly find his story telling both simple and profound. And you may even be challenged to rethink how you live out your faith.

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DBMIM Ezine August 1, 2008