Ministry in Motion (MIM) Ezine, February 23, 2007

-- The Reconstruction of A Youth Worker- The Theology of Fun? by R. Scott Miller.

-- Book Review: "The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey" by John Eldredge, reviewed by Teena Stewart.

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Navigating conflict is a little like navigating the white water rapids of a river. There are many rocks and vortices hidden under the foaming waters, and only an experienced guide knows the clues and signs of danger. Ignoring those signs and clues can lead to real disaster.

Just as whitewater rafting is a great adventure, navigating conflict well can be healthy and stimulating to individuals and groups. Conflict is a normal part of life. Managing conflict well can create health, energy, and focus for an organization.

The January issue identified numerous factors in identifying the sources of conflict. Rarely is conflict the result of one simple cause. However, some causes may be more critical or strategic than others. The guide who can recognize the clues and signs that point to the critical causes can help an organization develop effective strategies for resolution of those conflicts.

A second element of analysis for the leader or guide is the intensity of the conflict. Not all conflicts are resolvable. Attempting basic problem solving in an intractable personal conflict will only increase the frustration of the parties and exhaust the energy of the leadership. An effective ministry leader needs to correctly diagnose the intensity level in order to create opportunities for resolution.

The following five levels were identified by the Task Force on Pastor/Congregation Conflict as a resource for Committees on Ministry of the Presbyterian Church (USA). It has been used by many of the consultants of the Alban Institute (www.alban.org).

I remember the early days of youth ministry having my “New Games and New Games 2” books as well as my passed down copies of “Way-Out Ideas” and “Right-On Ideas” by Wayne Rice and Mike Yaconelli. I could come up with a game or an activity with no effort. As I have gotten older and times have changed, I moved from the “Activity Directory” type youth minister to the “Youth Pastor.”

Some of this change happened naturally as the gray hair appeared. Some of it happened because the seriousness of the kids changed. But I sometimes wonder if we don’t need to be more intentional about putting fun activities back into youth programs. Now I know Small Groups and Discipleship are a good thing. I also know that most youth groups have their ski trips and high adventure trips. What I am talking about is just having a game… playing.

One of the unique changes for me serving as a youth minister is now I am a youth group parent as well. In having a 12-year-old daughter I am wondering about the whole thing of fun. Our kids are programmed to death with sports, music, academics, instant messages and other stuff. But what about just playing a game?

Why am I ranting about this? It wasn’t long ago that we had a fun night at our Sunday Night Youth. We played a game that is pretty involved. Many years ago one of my early youth ministry mentors, Bill Moore, swore me to secrecy on publishing this game. He brought it back to the states when he was growing up as a missionary kid in Korea. It has been passed down from youth worker to youth worker in Kentucky. This game involves two playing fields and includes characteristics of baseball, football, track, and tug of war all in one game. It is a night of full contact and fast action fun! It is just a game. No teaching content… No sermon… No discipleship… No spiritual content… or is there?

We had this night of fun and I heard back from the grapevine from one parent that they were annoyed that I took an entire evening and just played. They felt like I was not doing my job. They felt that if they were taking their kid to youth group, there should be some content.

At first glance they are right. It was a fun night. Personally, I had a blast. There was content. It just wasn’t obvious. This was an activity that the team had to work together, if they were going to win. It taught lots about working together, watching out for each other, getting along and just plain old fun!

Sometimes I think that I have missed Jesus’ point when I get too serious. Jesus was anything but boring. If he was boring, no on would have taken time to listen. He wouldn’t have had twelve guys give up their lives and follow him. His story would not be important today, if he was boring!

I have two favorite ways of thinking of Jesus that are not totally serious. The first is a piece of art. It looks like a charcoal style drawing of Jesus doing a head-back belly laugh. The second visual is from Jesus the Mini Series that was on TV a few years back. Jesus is at the well with his disciples taking a drink of water. Everyone is looking serious then all of a sudden Jesus splashes water at Peter. Peter looks angry at first until he realizes that Jesus is the one who did it and is laughing. Then all of them get into it.

I am not saying there is not seriousness to the Gospel and to our mission to share the good news. But if we can’t have fun doing it, what is the point? If we do not teach this to our kids, we are not really doing our jobs. Those times of playing are just as important as our times sharing a lesson or teaching discipleship. In the words of John Wayne, “If I gotta be religious, it’s gonna be fun.”

You are invited to contact Scott to agree, disagree, or just pick his brain about youth ministry. You can contact him at: rscottmiller1@aol.com Scott would love to hear from you!

R. Scott Miller is the Director of Christian Education and Youth at Milford First United Methodist Church in the suburbs of Cincinnati, OH. In his 16 years of youth ministry, Scott has written and developed much of the youth programming used in his churches. Scott has a B.A. in Radio/TV and Journalism from Morehead State University and an M.A. from Asbury Theological Seminary. Scott is the author of 7 Things Christians Don't Do and What To Do Instead by Abingdon Press.

John Eldredge’s book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul became a best seller because it resonated so well with Christian men, affirming in them what it means to be a true man. True men are adventurous, wild, and at times even dangerous mirroring many of the same attributes of the character of God.

Now he continues the themes he introduced earlier in his new book, The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey. Many men remain incomplete. This book targets those who feel unfinished and unfathered.

Men learn to be men from their fathers but in many cases haven’t had a good fatherly model. It might be because their father died when they were young, was irresponsible, or even inaccessible. If this step in a young man’s life is lacking, a man may remain unfinished and feel incomplete.

Eldredge intends his book to serve as a guide through the different stages of manhood: Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King and Sage. He fills his book with stories from his own experiences as an outdoorsman and his interaction with his sons including the coming of age vision quest. These rites of passage are important to men, emasculating, validating them; ushering them to the next stage of the masculine journey.

The book takes us on a series of initiation passages. These can be adapted and used as a guide by fathers who wish to guide their sons through the masculine journey.

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MIM Ezine February 23, 2007

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